Stark Madness (Book Two In The Heart Of A Stark) Series

*4*

The cool tiles of YNs bathroom were doing nothing to calm her as they had in the past. Friday's screams rang through her head so loudly that she thought it might explode. The image of her father struggling to keep his heart beating burned behind her eyes. Desperate not to wake the man sleeping soundly in the next room, she reached a trembling hand to grab the towel hanging on the back of the door. She curled into a ball and bit down on the fabric to muffle her cries as her entire body started to shudder. Anger rolled heavily in her chest as she fought to regain control and lost. Her sobs were powerful enough to make her gag, forcing her to use all her strength just to make it to the toilet on time.

She didn't hear him get up from bed over the roaring in her ears as she dry-heaved, having nothing in her stomach left to empty. She couldn't see him as he gently rubbed her back, waiting until the spasms in her gut subsided before pulling her into his arms. A fresh wave of tears overtook her as guilt settled in her heart. It wasn't often that Bucky was able to sleep through the night and she hated that she had disturbed him.

It broke his heart to watch her fight for control knowing she was too far gone to do anything but ride it out. He did his best to soothe her until eventually, her breathing evened out and she relaxed against him.

"Hey," he whispered, "You made it to nearly 5 am this time."

She snickered sardonically before his words sunk in. "Wait, what?" She asked pushing away from him enough to look him in the eyes. "What do you mean this time?"

"YN," he sighed her name sadly, "do you honestly believe I don't notice when you leave our bed in the middle of the night?"

She opened her mouth, but her retort died on her lips as his face fell and hurt flashed behind his eyes. They softened and he smiled as she snapped her mouth shut. He knew how hard she was trying to keep this from him. She thought she was protecting him and for a while, he believed it was helping her. It was evident now, that wasn't the case.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She pushed herself away from him and wobbled on her feet. She caught herself on the edge of the sink before he could stand to help her. Turning the tap to cold, she splashed water on her face to help her think straight.

"Did you want to lay down for another hour?" Bucky asked softly, attempting to draw her back from the far-away look in her eyes. He frowned as she involuntarily winced at his suggestion.

All she wanted to do was lay down, every muscle sore from the effort of her panic attack but she recognized she couldn't handle another round of reliving the deaths of her loved ones.

"I think I'll just shower and start getting ready," she shook her head to rid it of the remaining images and pulled herself together, "It's early enough we could have coffee together before I have to leave." Her smile was bright but didn't quite reach her eyes. He understood that she was politely dismissing him, needing time on her own to shake it off.

When she emerged from the bedroom 20 minutes later, she felt a little more human. She smiled as she spotted Bucky sitting on the island hunched over a tablet. His brows pulled together in a frown as he stared down at the offending object. His coffee was forgotten halfway to his lips.

"The crossword?" She inquired, taking her seat on the stool next to him. It didn't escape her notice that he filled the largest mug in the apartment for her this morning. The small but meaningful act had her grinning ear to ear. "I didn't know they even still published those."

He let out a huff, placing his mug back down with a bit more force than intended. "Only online apparently," he grumbled, reaching over to take a piece of buttered toast from the plate sitting between them. "What was so wrong with paper and pencils?"

She couldn't help but giggle at his complaint, "Why are you doing the crossword?"

"Well," he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand to hide the flush of embarrassment rising on his cheeks. "Raynor thought it might be a good means of catching up. After her first suggestion turned out so well, I figured maybe she knew what she was talking about. Clearly, I was wrong."

He pushed the tablet away from him with a flourish that had her laughing as she moved her stool closer to his, "I can help you if you want," she offered, propping the tablet up in front of them.

He took another bite of his toast as he studied her. If he hadn't been there he would never have known just how distraught she had been less than an hour ago. Her eyes were bright and clear and she seemed genuinely excited to help him do a crossword puzzle.

"If you just give me all the answers I don't think it counts," he laughed as he offered her a bite of his toast.

She took it with a playful roll of her eyes. "I'm only here to navigate the technology," she promised after she finished chewing. Promptly taping on the correct spot on the screen to find the first clue.

As it turned out YN was not capable of sitting by idly while he struggled, and her helpful hints turned into flat-out answers within minutes. It was better this way, he mused as she cursed the author for an answer she deemed wrong. He got a little history lesson with each answer he didn't understand and got to witness the adorable frown on her face when she stumbled across the one or two answers she didn't know immediately. Bucky laughed as she excitedly clicked the last letter completing the puzzle, and rewarding herself with the last slice of toast.

"You should probably do these on your own huh?" she giggled as she brushed the crumbs from her fingers.

"Actually, I was thinking we should make it part of our morning routine," Bucky mused as he watched her tongue slip across her lips. "You're sexy when you go all smarty pants."

"Smarty pants?" she raised an eyebrow at him but he could hear the increase in her heart rate, the slight shortening of her breath.

"Sexy smarty pants," he corrected leaning over to tenderly kiss the tip of her nose before whispering in her ear, "or is there another term of endearment you'd prefer?"

"Bucky," she sighed as he pressed a kiss below her ear.

"Thats my name doll," he whispered against her skin before pulling away just enough to watch her eyes darken with desire.

"Bucky," she repeated as her gaze dropped to his lips.

"Yes, doll?" he smirked, a gentle moan the only answer he received. "I'm going to need you to use your words."

There was playful defiance dancing in her eyes when she raised them back to his. "Please?"

"Sorry to interrupt," Friday's voice ran through the apartment making YN groan.

"Then don't," Bucky growled but both the woman in front of him and the disembodied AI voice ignored him.

"The director has arrived, Boss."

YN glanced at her watch, "Right on time, as usual," she started, giving Bucky an empathetic smile before turning to collect her things.

"Com'on, doll," Bucky sighed, walking up behind her to still her movements, "She likes you," he paused to place a sloppy kiss on her neck, "she'll wait."

"As tempting as that is," she moaned before pulling out of his grasp, "I do have to go. It's the final walkthrough of the new compound and they need my approval."

She hurried to grab her keys, putting distance between them so she didn't surrender to her baser instincts. It didn't help as he was stalking her around the room, hunger in his eyes.

"I need..." Bucky started but was quickly shut up when she placed a finger over his lips.

"Keep that energy for when I get home," she pleaded, waiting for his face to relax in compliance before removing her hand. "Besides, you have a busy day with the boys. Fittings take forever."

He rolled his eyes at her but said nothing, instead kissing her until her toes curled before shooing her out the door.