Wanting You - EDITING.

Chapter Twenty Nine

I laid in my bed staring at Blake, it had been like this for the past week.

We would sleep in a little longer of the mornings and make love then showered and had breakfast together, it was actually nice to have this time together, it was actually didn't seen like we had been together for five months.

Dinner with my parents the other night was horrible, Jenny's family was there also and all they spoke about was the wedding.

Wedding this and wedding that, I was sick and tired of hearing about it, I was over seeing her in the place I currently lived at, over seeing her plastic face and listening to the pathetic talk of their honeymoon.

The one thing that had me pissed to the max was when Jenny dropped the bomb, announcing the place that had been picked out, at first I didn't think I heard her right, but when the loud chatter died down I realised I did in fact hear her.

She booked the place I wanted to go too, I told Blake that if I could go anywhere in the world then that was where it would be, St Barths Eden Rocks.

Of all the places she had to say that's where they were going, if I was drinking alcohol I would have sculled a bottle of whiskey then and there.

They still think Brody and I was in a relationship, even inviting him over for a dinner in the next weeks, Brody happily agreed and played the doting boyfriend ever so well.

I actually barely spoke that night, when we left we came back home and Blake had kicked Brody out for a couple hours, he had told me to sit down and close my eyes, so I did.

When I opened them again the whole living room was lit with little candles, the electric fire blazing in the wall setting a romantic type of theme and I had to hand it to him, this was definitely the most romantic thing that had ever been done to me.

We made love twice, taking our time and enjoying each other, our bodies moulding together as one while Blake whispered sweet words to me the entire time.

Telling me how much he loves me.

I loved him, hell I loved him more than anything in this world.

But things started to change, I found things out that changed everything, my life was changing and so was Blake's, but I didn't know how we was going to work, he would tell me one thing but that could all go out the window when he marries her.

My worst fear was that he would fall in love with her, leaving me behind.

Jenny was coming over, calling non stop and even sending him naked photo's of herself, he had always been upfront and honest about it, telling me when she did something like that and I told him I was fine.

He would buy me flowers or chocolates and I would give him sex.

Meeting him at the door wearing nothing but racy lingerie and then dropping to my knees so I could blow him to orgasm.

Brody asked me several times what was up, he said I was acting weird but that just made me throw myself at Blake even more, I thought that I could bang the doubts out of my head.

It didn't work, it only made them worse.

I let out a yawn and got out of bed, Blake would be home in an house and I had a lot to do still, I needed to clean and tidy my room, it was a complete mess with clothes tossed all over the place.

Brooke had her ring, it was a lovely gold band with a sparkle of diamonds, one larger one in the middle, she was definitely excited about getting married.

Her engagement party was next weekend, I was definitely looking forward to it.

“Lexi” I looked up to see Brody letting out a loud yawn and he strolled into the bedroom, slumping to the bed beside me.

“what's up?” I asked rolling onto my side.

“are you sick?” he frowned.

“yeah” I nodded, I was definitely sick.

“flu or cold?” he pressed.

“umm a flu, I just have a headache and feel sleepy, it'll pass on a few days” I shrugged “what are you up too?”

“oh nothing, just bored” he laughed slightly.

“tell me about it, do you work tonight?” I let out another yawn and stretched my body out.

“na, got the night off thank fuck” he grinned then started telling me all about this once chick who was hitting on him all night, he had tried to give her the brush off and even told Jock to try fuck her, Jock flat out said no and he didn't understand.

That was until the chick told him he had a penis.

I burst out into a loud laughter, that was not the ending I had expected to hear “but if he or she had a penis?” I frowned.

“I may like guys but guys dressed as girls doesn't do it for me, I like men” he frowned and looked at me seriously.

“I like men too, strong and handsome” I sighed thinking of Blake immediately.

“so you going to tell me what's wrong?” he finally asked again, I had been waiting for it.

“nope, I need to talk to Blake first then you can know” I smiled, I was actually a little excited to see him today, after getting back home I had almost called him and begged him to come here, but I knew he was in a meeting so I resisted.

After laughing and teasing Brody some more I finally got up and changed, the rain was getting heavier by the second as it bucketed down outside.

At 5pm I heard the front door open, my heart hammering faster than ever in my chest, he was finally here.

“Lex” I heard his deep voice, sending a slight shiver down my spine from the nervousness, this was either going to go two ways, good or horribly bad.

“In here” I called out.

Blake walked in the bedroom, his jacket had rain drops all over it, his black slicked back hair half messed up but to me he was still as handsome as the first day I met him.

He walked over placing a kiss over my mouth gently then went back towards the bed “how are you, Brody said you've gotten sick” he frowned removing his jacket and setting it down on the bed as he undone his navy tie.

“I'm ok, do you think we could talk?” I asked hopefully, we really needed to clear the air and talk a lot of things out, I needed to be reassured again.

He frowned and checked his watch “can it wait, I have to go deal with Jenny, she called and something about the flights were off”

and there it was, the one thing I didn't want to talk about tonight, he was always rushing off to her, going to fix whatever emergency she had, he didn't want to give her a reason to suspect there was anything going on between us but this was getting too much for me.

That was the final straw.

“not tonight Blake, I need to talk to you” my voice was breaking and I needed him to be here for me right now.

“Lex please, I have to deal with her I don't want us to fight, I promise I will be back soon” he stood up and walked back towards the door.

I turned around and faced the window, looking back out at the slight lightening over the hills that lit up the night sky.

Just say it Alex, tell him now and get it off your chest.

“I can't do this any more” I choked out as I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks.

I heard his footsteps stop, there was silence apart from the bedroom door closing.

“no, Alex please don't do this” he finally spoke, noticing how his voice was slightly breaking only made the tears spill faster.

“Blake I love you so much, but” I breathed out “I can't do this any more” I closed my eyes shut tightly as I wiped the excess tears on my sleeve.

I deserved to be put first and be happy, I don't deserve to be taken for granted.