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Evan
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You But what happened to hello? Motherfucker? Dickwad? Why did it have to be cocknut?
Evan Don't you dare disrespect the cocknut, you whore
You Dam You woke up and chose violence today
Evan I will always protect the cocknut 🐓🥜
You 🐓🥜 Daymon dog
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Evan DAM I love your dog Is it bad ik someone called Damon spelt like that?
You Yes You have been infected with California You must leave and never go back
Evan But work??
You Get a new job Become a dentist or somn
Evan Nah I don't wanna be my dad What if I steal your job?
You DO ITTT We should switch jobs I would be a freakin awesome actor You can't tell me otherwise
Evan I mean You have an interesting personality Now all you gotta do is get some contacts and you got yourself a gig
You Wow rude And I know literally no one in the acting industry
Evan You know me
You True
Evan You also know directors of projects you've worked on And plus, don't you work for Disney??
You HOLY CHAZ YES I DO BRB IMMA BE ON THE NEXT TV SHOW YOU SHOULD JOIN ME WE SHOULD BE THE STARS OF THE TV SHOW THAT WOULD BE EFFING AWESOME
Evan HOLIEST COW WE SHOULD WE WOULD ROCK IT TWO THIRTY YEAR OLDS STARRING IN A KIDS TV SHOW
You Wait That would actually be kinda weird We could be the parents that have a very clear bias to the main character and never have a clue what's going on
Evan Oooh yeah that would be better Let's do that
You Betttttt Wait isn't there usually like a wedding episode that the main characters crash resulting in us never being married?? And then after that, don't we have to like kiss at multiple points in the series?
Evan Why in every show that involves a family does that episode exist?? It's so weird And I think so yeah
You Yeah I have absolutely zero clue why that episode always exists And like what if you're not attractive?
Evan I've played the main character in movies before I'm pretty stereotypically attractive What if you're not attractive??
You Eh true that And I've gotten asked out in a gas station before Plus I have an "interesting personality" So that has to count for something
Evan Wow Low blow And good for you
You Thank you
~~~~tweet tweet bitch~~~~
Chris Evans @ChrisEvans Imma star in the next Disney sitcom (maybe) 563 likes • 421 comments • 352 retweets