Ghost

11

The salty ocean wind slams through my hair, the waves drifting over my feet. 

It's not important where I am now. At least I'm not in the same place as them.
My brothers and those damn Russians. 

I needed to stay away for a little while... for things to cool down a little before my return. 

It's been almost a month already. Joe and Rom have been keeping me updated on everything going on and a few shipments that have gone missing.

It's a shame I need to go back soon. I'd love to just stay by the ocean, the wind drifting me to places yet to be discovered. 

But I can't. The ball is tomorrow, and I fly back tonight. 

---

"I missed you so much," Noah crushes me into a hug before I can even enter the house. His voice is soft, though his shoulders are tense and he's... shaking. 

I squeeze him tight, "I missed you too... so much!" 

Noah takes a deep sigh as the others appear, removing himself from my embrace. They push forward, yelling and questioning me.

I recall our last conversation. They definitely wouldn't get it... I'm sure they grew up with a parent who loved and cared for them. They won't believe me if I told them. They don't know what it's like to live in fear every day not knowing when the next random, uncalled for punishment comes. 

Just like I will never know how it feels like to be loved by a parent and cared for. I didn't have much of a childhood because of that. 

And sometimes I wonder how it would have been if I was raised by my mother with my siblings by my side. 

Would I have been loved like they were? 

Would my dad love me then when we would have moved here after moms death?

"Stop", My voice is barely audible. I feel out of breath without any effort. "Stop." I try again, louder this time. They either cannot or will not hear me. 

"Stop!" I clear my throat, it feels too dry but they're finally quiet... took them long enough.

"I am neither in the mood for this nor do I have the time for it." Deep breaths Avery... compose yourself. "I trust you all own at least one decent suit?" I receive confused nods as answers.

"Great. We leave at 8 pm. Do make yourselves presentable." I leave to go upstairs, noticing my youngest older brother has vanished.

I find him in his room on his bed, leaning against the wall. "Can I come in?" He nods. It looks like he has just been drained of all his energy. He isn't present, mentally. 

What could be on his mind for him to feel the need to detach? 

"Noah... what are you feeling?" 

"I'm fine," he returns. No, he's not. He's always been very quiet, but I always thought he was just the introverted brother. I'm not so sure anymore. 

"I did not ask how you're feeling, I asked what are you feeling?" He looks up at me, his eyes turning glassy. I see the way he is trying to pull his tears back into his body, but the more he tries, the more comes out. 

"It's okay to cry, Noah. You can't keep all your emotions bottled up forever... it's not healthy." I take a seat on the edge of his bed. 

"It's good to let your emotions free with a person you turst with your head and heart." I point to his chest. 

That broke it. The dam that kept most of his tears at bay. He pulls me close as I comfort him. "Do you wanna talk about it?" I ask a while later, not wanting to push him.