Ｎｏｔ Ａｌｌｏｗｅｄ．【𝙰 𝙱𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙽𝙴𝚈 𝙵𝙰𝙽𝙵𝙸𝙲】

𝟎𝟎𝟎 - 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞.

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐃 ➣ 03/27/2023.

𝐏𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃 ➣ 03/27/2023.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 ➣ 1131.

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 ➣ This story will discuss topics such as abuse, rape, attempted rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse, conversation therapy, self-harm, self-hatred, body image issues, attempted suicide, suicidal thoughts, implied racism, the fetishisation of queer people, homophobia, transphobia, deadnaming, misgendering, slurs, the fetishisation of trans people, and other topics that could be triggering to some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.

𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ➣ There are no translations to be found in this chapter.

𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ➣ All characters are aged 15 to 20. Vance is 20, Bruce is 19, Robin is 18, Finney is 18, Billy is 18, Griffin is 17, Gwen is 16, and Amy is 15. This story takes place in Canada in the modern-ish day.

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ➣ As it is Monday writing this, I have the slam poetry things today, I'm going to shit my pants.

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BRUCE YAMADA had always been normal for the most part, aside from the fact that he liked other boys, and aside from the fact that he wasn't really a boy.

Bruce Yamada was transgender, and no matter what he did, no one would listen to him, claiming that he was just a silly little girl that didn't know what she wanted, but Bruce knew what he wanted, and he didn't understand why no one believed him, not even his own sister believed him and something about that really hurt.

His mother, Hanako Yamada, wanted to believe him, but her husband, Eugene Yamada, didn't want to lose his eldest daughter, Hanako couldn't help but feel disgusted when she listened to what Eugene admitted to doing to his own daughter, his own son.

It was inhuman and Hanako knew that, but as she was stuck, she couldn't do the right thing, that being that she would comfort her son and tell him that no matter what anyone said he would always be her beautifully handsome boy and that he didn't do anything wrong to deserve what he got.

He just wanted to be loved but it seemed like even that was too much to ask for, until, Finney Blake walked into his life and into his heart, Finney was beautiful, but Bruce knew that he couldn't have him, he was a boy and Finney was a boy, he couldn't be in love with a boy, it was wrong and he knew that he was wrong.

Not too long after meeting Finney, Bruce was sent to conversion therapy, Finney was heartbroken to see him leave but he knew that the camp that Bruce was being sent to wouldn't work, Finney was also trans, but he had been on hormones for longer, they tried to change him by beating him, leaving him in a room for days without clothes, and sexually assaulting him to show him that he would always be a woman and he would always be made to have children and be the submissive wife to men.

But Finney knew that wasn't who he was going to be.

No ever in his life would he be that.

Finney knew who he was but Bruce seemed so easy to sway into thinking that he was this or that as he needed other people to tell him who he was since he was a child and now that he's older, and people are telling him to make his own choices and be his own person, he isn't sure what he wants to be or who he wants to be.

After the few weeks that Bruce was gone, he came back as Bruce, but he was battered and bruised because of it.

Finney was there and Finney took his hand and showed him that he could be whatever he wanted and that he could be himself for once in his life and he wouldn't have to hide it because they thought it was wrong.

They sat on Finney's roof one night, Finney's hand resting on top of Bruce's as they stared at the night sky.

Finne's hand comfortably rested upon his own, but he knew that if he stayed for a moment more, he would have to leave, the gentle boy - Finney - next to him whispered in his ear, "Why are you so scared of being with me?" And those words burned into him and made him wonder that very thing indeed. 

Why was he so scared of such a gentle being?

Bruce whispered back, "I don't really know, I hardly know anything these days now..." Finney gave him a look that he couldn't understand for a second, Finney's angelic laugh hit his ears and made his heart flutter, "That's okay, you don't have to know why, maybe you could just give it a try and see if you like being with me." Bruce flushed and turned his head to the side as Finney smiled at him.

Bruce feared that if he looked at Finney's smile any longer he would go blind with how bright it was, and how it made his chest grow tight and it became hard to breathe.

That was the truth, Bruce Yamada was scared but also madly in love with Finney Blake, but he couldn't admit to his feelings because he had been taught for so long that the way he was feeling was wrong and he didn't know what to do without being told how to do it.

But then again, Bruce Yamada was scared of a lot of things, like bugs and ants and snakes, spiders, and his own feelings and girls telling him that they loved him, but he knew that it wasn't going to be true, they just wanted fame.

And yet, Bruce didn't seem to mind it.

Because he had Finney by his side, he could be with all the women in the world but none of them would come close to Finney, Finney had his whole heart but he was still scared to say something about it as he thought that it was wrong.

Bruce had always been scared of feelings, his feelings, his sinful thoughts, his cursed body and mind, touched by the unholiest focuses and by the purest form of sin, but he knew that under all of that fear, there was love and there was a great need for Finney Blake to by his side at the end of the day, maybe as a lover, maybe as a boyfriend, only god knew that it would be but he knew that he wanted that boy by his side no matter what.

Bruce Yamada knew that he was in love with Finney Blake but he was too much of a pussy to do anything about it.

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𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ➣ I pretty much had a panic attack on stage for the compaction and I came out to my mom and she's going to try to use the right pronouns for me, those being he/him, and yeah. That was my Monday, how about yours?