⊱Mission for love//Enorace⊰

Never have I ever-CHAPTER 2

☾HORACE POV☽

Jacob promised that the walk would only be a few minutes but we've been wandering for hours.

I look down at my shoes in disgust. We've been on a dirt path and mud is covering my shoes, I try my best not to cry at the horrible sight.

Enoch looks in my direction and shakes his head. "You shouldn't have tagged along if you're gonna freak out about a little dirt."

Recently, I've been extremely confused about my feelings for Enoch. I don't know if I think of him as a friend or something more, but I know he doesn't think much of me at all...
So, I'm slowly adapting to someone Enoch may like better. 'Trying out new personalities' to see what his reaction is. I've tried a few that had little to no response, so I did something more dramatic. Changed my style, used lower diction, pretended to be cooler. It seemed to interest Enoch a bit back at the panloopticon, and I'm not going to ruin my chances.

"Nah, I don't care. Just these aren't my shoes" I lie.
Enoch nods slowly. "So what's up with the.. Uh... Outfit?"
"Just... Trying something new." god, that sounded dumb, but what else could I have said?
'Oh, I'm desperate for your attention and I need to know if you like me because I like you.'
Definitely not.

I've denied my emotions for years, maybe around 70 to be exact, only I haven't been able to hide the color my face turned around Enoch and the way my legs felt weak when he spoke to me for the past two weeks. Not since what happened...

Two weeks ago, I had another nightmare. Something that rarely happened after we defeated Caul, and this one was terrible. Emma, Jacob, Noor, and even Enoch all killed by a new kind of monster. Much worse than even Caul himself. I couldn't recall much from the dream, so I didn't tell anyone..it most likely wasn't going to come true. Very hard to lie to everyone when you wake up screaming bloody murder, though. Everyone had flooded my room and pestered me with questions, miss P eventually shooed them all out. She left me alone, and I cried. The dream was so terrible I couldn't help it. Then Enoch, the rude and careless boy, came into my room and comforted me. Hugged me. Even stayed the night in my room..,

On my bed...

Almost cuddling me....

Something happened that night. Something special. But after that, Enoch returned to his same grumpy old self and ignored me.
I'm starting to think that nothing happened and I'm just delusional, but if I really like Enoch then I should at least try to get closer to him.

"Cool." Enoch replies, turning his head and looking out into the distance, which is not very far because of the thick trees blocking the way.

"Well, seems like we'll be walking a while. Would you like to play a game?" I suggest.
Enoch groans and prepares to decline the offer, until Bronwyn cuts him off.

"Oo, a game? We should play Never have I ever!"

Noor turned around to face us while walking backwards. "That sounds fun! Do you guys know how to play?"
"Yes! Jacob taught us." Bronwyn replies proudly.
"Jacob are you playing?"
Jacob thinks for a moment, then slowly nods his head in agreement.
"How about you, Emma?"
"Fine."
"Yay!! Wait, Enoch, are you playing too?"
"No." Enoch responds with a cold tone.
Bronwyn sighs and her shoulders slump. Emma smirks. "Why not?" She says, "Are you a chicken?"

"Yes. One with exploding eggs, so back off." Enoch hisses. Emma laughs at him, and Enoch burns with rage.
"Come on, Enoch. Play with us!" I encourage.
The boy turns to me and his dark brown eyes slowly soften.
"Okay, okay. Whatever."
Emma and Bronwyn grin.

"Then let's start. I'll go first!" Bronwyn exclaims.
"So....never have I ever" she pauses and looks towards the sky while thinking "..had my first kiss."
Emma, Noor, and Jacob put a finger down. Emma looks wistfully in Jacob's direction, knowing she was his first kiss. Enoch notices and rolls his eyes.

"Okay. Me next." Noor says.
"Never have I ever drank apple juice."
Everyone except Noor puts down a finger.
"You've never tried it before?" Jacob says curiously, "not even one sip?"
"Never." Noor states.
"Wow.." Jacob replies astonished. "Well, looks like I'm next. Never have I ever....broken a bone??" His eyes scan the blank faces around him, then adds: "I can't think of anything else."
Noor is the only one who puts down a finger.

Emma looks impatient for her turn. "Never have I ever asked to break up with someone." She says while glaring at Jacob's frowning face. He puts down a finger while burning in shame; Noor turns to Emma with an expression of anger and surprise. She's ready to start screaming at Emma, but I cut in before she does.

"Okay!!! Never have I ever..eaten an electrical wire!"
Noor's face goes slack and she turns away from Emma, giving up the situation.
"What?" Jacob asks, confused.
I smile awkwardly. "It's the first thing that came to mind."
Enoch puts down a finger and we all laugh. He slightly smiles too, and it looks amazing. His soft lips part and show off surprisingly perfect teeth while his eyes glitter with joy; more butterflies make their way into my stomach the longer I stare.

Soon it is Enoch's turn.
"Never have I ever cried over a nightmare." He says, turning to look directly at me. I can feel the skin on my face boil from how embarrassed I am. I look around at the others and put down a finger, but so does Jacob, Noor, Emma, and Bronwyn. I feel a bit better seeing that I'm not the only one this question has targeted. Bronwyn looks at me with sympathy for a moment, then puts on a devilish grin. "Me again! Never have I ever fell in love with another peculiar."
"What's with all the questions about love?" Jacob asks.
"They're just the most interesting" Bronwyn replies.
Emma, Jacob, and Noor and I put down a finger. My face is still hot as I glance down at Enoch's fingers; my eyes go wide when I notice he put down a finger too.
I wonder who Enoch's in love with. Does this mean I have no chance?
Emma's eyes are glued to me and Enoch.
"Really? Who are you two in love with?"
I look down at my feet, hoping that Enoch has something good to reply so I don't have to.
"I don't have to answer that." Enoch says.
Emma shrugs. "Why don't we play truth or dare?"
"You can't fool me, Emma. I'm not playing that with you."
Emma rolls her eyes, huffs, and turns away.

I focus my attention on Noor as she asks the next question. I'm not looking at Enoch, but in the corner of my eye I can see he's looking at me. His empty eyes taking me in, locked in one position. As we keep walking and talking, he never looks away. I don't think anyone else has noticed, and I don't think he knows I've noticed, but he's definitely checked me out a few times. This could just be a coincidence, but I have a habit of being delusional. So when Enoch admits to being in love with another peculiar and then stares at nothing but me for over an hour, I think it
means something.
My eyes drift over to Enoch's, forcing us into eye contact. We glance at each other for a few moments, then he looks away. His gaze drops to his feet, and I struggle to see his face that's hidden behind his messy hair. I can clearly tell that his face is red, though.
Is he embarrassed?
Is he...
Blushing?
I don't know, but I hope the second guess is correct.
I keep my eyes fixed on the boy until he looks up with a scowl. "What are you looking at?" He spits.
"I could ask the same thing. What have you been looking at for the past hour."
His face flushed red again, but he looks more angry than embarrassed. "A coward who should've stayed home." He answers, then speeds up and creates a large distance between us. If there's anything that hurts me, it's being called weak or cowardly. That's what everyone I've ever met thinks of me, no matter how hard I try to act brave or tough around them. That's probably why Jacob didn't want me to come with them, because he thinks I'll whine and cause problems. It's inevitable; I'll always be the one with a less important peculiarity and the one who's afraid of everything. The only thing about me that's not boring is my clothing taste, which turned out to also be boring. I had to give up the only special thing about me in order to get someone else's attention.
God, I'm desperate for Enoch.