Fitness for Dummies ✓

Four

F O U R

.....

I am a loser.

No, I am not.

Yes, I am-a big fat loser!

I didn't need someone to send me an official notice to tell me that I sucked at exercising. I had been thinking about my failure for the whole day. 

If I were doing exercise alone, I wouldn't even care about anything. The major problem was that I was working out with a good number of people and the fact that all of them successfully completed two rounds and I couldn't, made me feel like a loser.

I didn't care about being marvelous at exercising. The only thing that bothered me was that others could do it and I couldn't. I didn't even want to join that stupid camp in the first place. Most of the trainers were grumpy.

On top of everything, I hated myself for making stupid comments about Christine in front of Jesse. I would never do that if I knew he was her son. If someone said something inappropriate about my mother, I would too kick that person's ass. 

I hadn't fallen in love with him or something like that; that'd be too cheesy. I just wanted to make a good impression, that's all. He seemed like a cool guy and I just wanted to be his friend. He was the only one at the camp whom I didn't want to punch across the face because unlike others, he was always polite with everyone. 

Having a guy friend could be awesome, right. 

I never had a guy friend, in fact, ninety percent of my cousins were girls. Therefore, saying I didn't know too much about boys wouldn't be wrong. Olive had a boyfriend a few months ago and honestly, I didn't like him because he was rude and selfish. He always flirted with other girls openly. The other day, Olive brought him at my place and it was one hell of an experience for me. He didn't even take his shoes off before sitting on my bed and there are so many things that I can rant about, but I wouldn't. He changed my perspective on guys and I started to think all boys are rude, dirty and whatnot!

However, those two days at the camp helped a bit to change my view. Until now, Jesse seemed sweet and helpful. Why wouldn't you want to be friends with someone like him? I mean, he was the guy who hadn't called me fat yet. He hadn't even made fun of me yet.

"Lizzie?" mom whispered.

"Yeah."

I didn't even realize that mom had served me food. 

We were sitting on our small dining table and I had my chin in my hands with my elbows on the table.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, looking into my eyes.

"I'm tired, that's all."

"How was your day at the camp?" she asked, smiling.

I shook my head no. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Liz, you can talk to me about it. Tell me, what's wrong?"

"I'm a loser, mom. I'm sorry, but I can't help it."

I took a bite of mashed potatoes, separating the beans with my spoon.

"You're not a loser."

I laughed humorlessly. "You're my mom and that's why you're saying this. Ask anyone at school or at the camp, they'll tell you the truth."

Picking up my glass, I sipped water. The dinner was a bit too spicy that night.

Mom placed her hand on top of mine and I looked at her. She gave me a small smile, squeezing my hand in the process. I knew she wouldn't let it go. That's what moms do; they don't leave you alone until you tell them the truth.