Starless [#Wattys2015]

Chapter 11

I fidget in my seat while a small lobster dusted with a white powder is set before me.
I duck my head and I can imagine Adeleen reprimanding me for my horrible posture. But she is too polite and stoic to dare say something out loud. But I know she'll search me out after this dinner party, with the Reeds

It is obvious that I am wholly uncomfortable.

And who is seated right across from me? None other than Lanson, sporting multiple bruises on his jaw while I am dressed in a silk pale green dress that flaunts my curves.
I resisted disobeying Adeleen when I learned I would be wearing something this revealing to a dinner party with Lanson.

My smile faltered when I saw him. But then I noticed his bruises. That made me smile a lot brighter.

I just wish he would quit trying to catch my eye.

His jaw dropped when he saw me, but then he grimaced.
That had to hurt.

As I picked at my meal, I tell myself:
I will not look up. I will not look up. I will not look up. And what do I do?

I look up. His brown eyes meet my green ones.
I throw my sleek red ponytail over my shoulder and act like his fucking presence doesn't bother the shit out of me.
I can't take this anymore. Lanson stares at me, pleading.
I push back out of my chair and stand up, slamming my fork down, so hard that the table vibrates and the wine glasses clink.
Wiping my lips with a linen handkerchief, I turn to Adeleen and say curtly. "I don't feel well. Excuse me."
I run into the hallway. Leaning against the wall, I attempt to catch my breath. Get it together, Avalon.
"Hey."
I look to see Lanson next to me, running a hand through his disheveled hair.
Hey? Really, just hey?

"Lanson, get away from me! I don't want to see you."
He grabs my arm lightly and gives me what I could only describe as puppy dog eyes. It makes him only look more attractive... and desperate. Any girl would fall for him. But I know better. "Avalon, I just wanted-"

I cut him off." No. I don't want an explanation. God, why can't you just leave me alone."

"Av, please just listen to me. I beg you."
I sigh. I don't really want to, but no one can say I'm not compassionate. "You have 30 seconds, Lanson."

"Please accept my apology. I was drunk and-"

I interrupt. "Drunk? You knew what you were doing! I may have started it but I asked you and I begged you to stop. You couldn't even respect that!"
I sound so much like Adrian.

"Stop interrupting. Please just listen. "
I nod. "Then talk."
He sighs, exasperated. He's been trying to talk, but I haven't been letting him. I am too angry to listen to his crap or let him go that easily.

"I don't know what got into me, Avalon. Please forgive me. I want to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I lov-"
"But you did, Lanson. You almost did if...he...hadn't..." I waver.

The sweet and gentle Lanson disappears and another one emerges from last night's shadows.
"That guy! I could kill him! I swear if I see him again, I'll-"

I shove him with as much force as I can muster. "Kill him? He fucking saved me! From you! If you lay one finger on him, I will never speak to you again! If you really care for me, you wouldn't dare."

Crestfallen, he replies. "I'm sorry."
As if that wasn't clear already.

He leans in for an embrace and his face falls when I place my hands on his chest, stopping him. "I can't anymore."
"What do you mean? Hug me?"

I gesture and wave my hands around anxiously. " This, me,you. Me and you. I can't anymore."

"Avalon, we've been together for four years. You are my first and only love. I lo-"
"No."
"What?"
"I said no. The issue is that you can't handle anyone saying no to you. We are not doing this anymore. I refuse to continue letting us torture each other. It has to stop."

This should've stopped 3 months ago. When Avalon died.

Lanson grasps my waist and pulls me to him. And I let him. I want this to all go away so badly. As he kisses me, the euphoria...it isn't there. It comes to me, fully and undeniably. No matter how hard I, we try, I will never be his Avalon.

We break away from each other's lips and end our kiss almost simultaneously. "Please remember, Avalon. Don't do this. I love you." He whispers.
He loves her and she is not here. She will never be again. Avalon is gone.

"I'm sorry, Lanson."
"You never call me Lanson."

Well, I think he just lost the right for me to refer to him as 'Blondie' or 'babe.'

But I don't say anything. This is it. That was the last kiss, the last time.
"What happened to us? To you?"

Oh, Lanson. More than I can say.

I respond grimly. "People change."
He looks at me thoughtfully.
I turn away and walk back into the dining hall with my head held high. But not before I hear him whimper, "Avalon."

He doesn't follow.

Hope you enjoy! Guys, omg poor Lanson! Remember vote and follow! Above is Karen Gillan as Avalon Crane! Thanks for reading! You are utterly awesome!💜W