Almost Loosing Control - Bucky Barnes x GN!Reader
In this story you are already dating Bucky
It gets a bit angsty but what else do you expect from the Bucket?
Bucky's POV
"Are you sure you want to go to this party Buck? You don't have to just because I want to."
I turn and look at my partner. They have a worried expression as they gently hold my right arm.
"I'm sure Y/N. I'll let you know if it gets to be too much. Promise"
I push open then door to the main common room where Stark is hosting a Christmas party with all the Avengers and some SHEILD agents. We sit down at a couch and Y/N starts talking to the people around us.
"Hey doll, I'll be okay if you want to go and chat to your friends."
They turn and look at me.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
Y/N's POV
I give my boyfriend one last look of concern before hugging him and walking up to the bar Tony had set up. I occasionally looked over at Bucky to make sure he was still okay, but he seemed fine until...
"Ты, маленькое дерьмо! Скажи это еще раз, и я без колебаний разорву тебя на части!"
(Roughly translated to: You little shit! Say that again and I will not hesitate to tear you apart!)
I run over and pull him back. He's glaring at a group of agents that seem to be trying to aggravate him.
"Bucky? Listen to me. I'm here, breathe."
"Вытащи меня отсюда. Пожалуйста. Холодно, слишком холодно, слишком много."
(Get me out of here. Please. Cold, too cold, too much)
I hold him close and walk him out, signaling to Tony we have to leave. I keep talking to him along the way back his room.
"It's okay, you're okay. Listen to my voice, follow my voice Buck."
We sit down and I hold him gently. He starts to shake and mutter the same words over and over.
"Прости, я больше не Зимний Солдат. Пожалуйста, прости cменя..."
(I'm sorry, I'm not the Winter Soldier anymore. Please forgive me...)
I go to rub his back, but he pulls back quickly.
"N-no! Please...don't t-touch me. At l-least right now..."
"Bucky, you were trying your best, but you are still in recovery, don't be too hard on yourself-"
"IT'S NEVER ENOUGH THOUGH! TRYING IS NEVER ENOUGH FOR ANYONE!"
He looks shocked as he realizes he stood up in a panic. I watch helplessly as he looks at me with panic and starts hyperventilating.
"N-no no no...I-I'm s-sorry...I-I didn't mean it. H-hard to b-breathe..."
"James, you're having a panic attack. Listen to my voice. Take a deep breath. Can you do that for me?"
He looks at me, tears falling. He nods slowly and tries to breath in.
"I-I can try..."
I hold out my hand.
"Can I come closer?"
"N-not yet..."
He takes a few deep breaths.
"Okay, sit down...can you do that for me Buck? Just sit down and breathe."
He nods and sits back down. He's still shaking.
"Bucky, I'm going to come closer, is that okay?"
"Y-yeah, you should b-be okay now..."
I slowly step closer and hold out my hand again. He looks at it then at me. He slowly reaches out and holds onto my hand.
"T-thank you..."
I brush my fingers slowly over his arm(human), telling him everything is okay.
"Of course Buck, anything for you."
He smiles sheepishly and reaches for a hug. I course accept and scoot closer to him.
"I'll always be here for you, no matter what James."
"T-thanks, love you, doll.
"I love you too, Bucket."
AN: Hi, I'm not dead, I just got caught up my social life and shit for a bit as well. But maybe I will possibly update soon. Maybe? This one was a bit rushed so sorry for short and probably bad story <3
