Surviving the Walking Dead: Season 4

Episode 7 part 1

The  longer time had passed the more time I seemed to lose. I didn't want to keep track of how long we were out here, just following the train tracks, going toward Terminus and maybe toward the others. Maybe I was scared about what we would find. Was there a camp there of people who could help us, were they safe, would we find those we lost at the prison? All these questions took up all my thoughts and now that Carol was back I had time to think but I didn't want to.

As time got longer and longer I started to see things and remember those we... With the memories flooding my memory I was struggling to focus on surviving, because I couldn't deal with the idea of them. I couldn't mourn them or anyone and it was just building up in me and I was making mistakes more and more. 

At one point after the first sign I walked with Carol for a while in silence and I could feel her eyes burning holes into me.

"Jade?" she asked softly. I turned to look at her and saw a worried look "are you okay?.... you seem distracted" she commented and looked me up and down a little. I couldn't help the lump in my throat that stopped me from answering her and just nodded as I looked away. "Don't tell me you've picked up Daryl's silence" she joked and I laughed a little, feeling tears stinging my eyes but I quickly looked away and blinked them away as best I could, so I could see. "You know if anyone got out he would be one of them" she told me and again I nodded 

"I know" I managed to say as I looked down to my feet, making sure to step on every other piece of wood, trying to focus on anything else 

"We need you to stay focused" she told me and I could hear the scolding tone in her voice. Like I was a kid, like Lizzie and Mica and I turned to look at her 

"I am focused" I countered and frowned at her, feeling anger building up in me "are you?" I asked, trying to hint at what I knew about her and she tensed up and turned away. I looked forward and watched as Lizzie and Mica started to walk on the metal rails while Ty stood between them 

"Rick told you?" she asked me suddenly and I knew what she meant and I just nodded my answer. I heard a heavy sigh from her "I was trying to save everyone-"

"I know that to" I replied as I looked over to her "I'm not going to agree with what you did... but it's done and over... nothing we can do about it now" I told her, tears threatening to fall from my eyes as she looked at me

"What's done and over?" Ty asked as he turned to look over at us. I looked at him and he saw my emotional state 

"The prison... I was saying I don't want to talk about it..." I told him, easily able to lie about what we really were talking about, partly because it was actually true. A few more hours of walking and nothing to hunt we were left in the dark, with whatever we had, laying under some kind bridge. 

I remember laying there for hours, listening to the crickets and owls around us but no movements that sounded like a walker. It was calm.  It was peaceful. 

By morning I woke up slowly, and felt a gentle shaking of my shoulder and I looked around, expecting to see Carl there, wanting to show me something he found outside but only saw Mica

"Carol says it's time to get up" she explained to me and I nodded. I blinked and looked at her again as I saw she was still wearing the necklace, and touching it whenever she could. At least it helped someone other than me. 

"Jade" I heard Carol and looked over "I need to find some sap for Tyreese's arm" she explained and I nodded as I sat up and then got to my feet

"I should try hunting today, in the woods" I noted as I looked around, seeing it was pretty steep all around the tracks. 

"Found some" I heard Lizzie call and was standing proudly by a tree as she watched Carol walk over and look at it

"Not yet '' Carol told me as she gathered the sap and looked over to me "We have to move as far as we can. We'll camp sooner today so you can" she said, making a compromise. I nodded and started to pack up my things then sat  by and watched as Carol used the sap for Ty's arm. The second the sap touched his arm I could hear him make a sound of protest but didn't pull away or stop her