Paw Paw

Chapter forty-two

~All i know is that i love you too much,  to walk away~

Alejandro Rosario P.O.V

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My men stood surrounding me, their heads bowed down just as mine were. I sat on the floor of my living room. With no words to describe what I was currently feeling. Alessandro sat next to me, his face showing signs of sympathy and pity that i didn't fucking need.

Mother and father stood there, they watched me silently as I gazed at the police officers face. Repeating his words constantly in my head once he said it. I didn't want to believe shits anyone of this people where saying. I couldn't think straight and I worried for Lysha that was somewhere there.

"Sir, we'd lile to stop the search. There was no body found in the fire. If you truly believe that she was in the mansion before the explosion then I believe the fire might have burnt her completely to ash-"

"Shut the the fuck up." My gruffy voice kept his shut. I hated how you could hear the pain in my voice but at this point, i didn't know what I was feeling. I haven't cried nor have I said a word until now. "Continue searching."

"There's nothing to look for, sir. The whole place is burnt down completely and if there's anyone lying dead then you're already dead."

"I said search the fucking mansion again." I gritted our through clenched teeth, my eyes rising to meet the officers. The room was tense and a heavy cloud fell on everyone because of mood.

"...but sir-"

"Didn't you hear what he fucking said!" I heard my mothers voice, for some reason it angered me. My fist clenched and eyes shut. "Search the damn mansion once more! Can't you see my son is hurting!"

It was quiet for a while, and we heard a deep sigh. "Fine. We'll resume the search." The officers feet pads out of my mansion. Leaving Alessio, Damien, father, mother and I alone.

Her heels clicked loudly and she sat right in front of me. Her hands grabbing my face in her hold and I clenched my teeth, trying not to snap. "Oh my poor boy. Look at what it has done to you." She pointed. I wasn't looking my best.

My hair was messy and oily, eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep, i smelt like sweat and tears from not taking a bath for days. And my knuckles where bruised from how I've repeatedly taken my anger out on anything I could lay my hands on.

I wasn't okay. I was going insane. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't form enough words to make proper sentences. I couldn't make eye contact. I had no strength in me to keep fighting. Each day that passed left me fear for the worse, every single fucking day felt like torture.

My life turned into a complete damn joke in just a second. I felt and looked like shit, everything was bullshit. I didn't want to do anything but find the woman I've lost. I didn't want to believe that I've actually lost her. There's just no damn way, I'm in denial.

It's been two weeks, and I've been repeatedly informed that the woman I love was no more. That she might have died in the fire, that her body must have burnt to ashes and maybe that's the reason why it was hard to recognize or find her.