Am I a sad individual and that is why I'm writing how I feel through Wally, maybe, but I do as I wish, so boom, I'm making him a transman! (Just like me!! :'])
Ok, so there is gonna be some hating self stuff like dysphoria and also some self harming thoughts and acting on those thoughts, so big warning, if that is too much for you, just skip this chapter, k? K.
Another thing, this is gonna be a ship between Wally and Barnaby. So if you don't like that, just don't read it. Thx!
Alright, here we go! Enjoy!
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Wally rolled out of bed, and stumbled over to his closet, he put on his usual outfit and did up his hair, then moved on with his morning.
"Good morning House." He called out to the building. House responded by happily opening and shutting a cabinet door, almost waving at him. Then he sat down with an apple, starting to paint a new picture.
As he painted he started to let his mind wander, at one point he looked down, just trying to dip his paintbrush in a shade of purple paint. Then as he did he caught a glimpse of his bulging chest.
Stupid chest. I hate it. I hate it so much. Why can't it just go away. It's not fair. Other guys don't have to worry about their chest sticking out. Stupid body. I wish I could just.
Wally glances over to the kitchen counter and looks for a moment at the block of knives.
If only, it would be so easy, just a couple cuts and I wouldn't have to worry ever again. I could be a real man. I'm just a stupid faker. I'm not good enough to be a man. I'm too weak to be a man. Too girly. Too small. Too curvy. They can probably see through everything, they all know and they hate me, they see me as a woman. They all do. That must be why House keeps me here too. It's embarrassing that I'm not masculine. It's embarrassing to be associated with me. Fair enough, I am too. I'm embarrassed that I could even think I could pass as a man. I could never. I deserve to be gutted just for thinking I could. I deserve to suffer. I deserve to feel pain. So much pain. I deserve it all.
He stopped painting, all finished, he couldn't even tell what it was supposed to be. It's just a mess of colors now, but he hangs it on the wall nonetheless. Wally stops for a moment, lost in thought again, before going over to the knife block. He takes out a small steak knife, and sits on the couch. Pulling up his sleeve and unwrapping the bandages on his arm, he brings the knife to his skin. Pressing down and pulling it across multiple times and enveloping himself in the satisfaction of the stinging sensation.
Soon he was disturbed by a soft knocking on the door and House getting his attention via moving the current floorboard under his left foot.
He covered up his arm and went to answer the door.
"Hey Wally! How are you?" Barnaby stood there holding something behind his back and looking nervous, but covering it up with a smile.
"Hello! I'm doing fine. Thanks for asking. Is there something I can do for you?" Wally replied curious as to what the other was hiding.
Barnaby pulled from behind his back a fairly large, but small in his hand, bouquet of bright blue and purple flowers. Wally lit up at the sight and then looked up to the other, questioning the occasion for such a gift.
"These are for you, um, I was wondering, if you would like to, if we could perhaps go on a small, nothing huge or outlandish, date?" He paused before the last word, practically squeaking it out as if it would cause the end of the world if he said it too loud.
Wally looked shocked, like he had just been told top secret information that couldn't be told to the world due to the effects it would have on peoples view of reality.
"I..I would love to!" Wally said taking the bouquet in his arms and looking extremely close before heading inside House for a moment, then coming back to the door and looking to the other.
"Wait really! Oh! Um, I mean ok, so I was hoping we could go now? If that works for you!" Barnaby said standing up straight and quickly fixing his appearance as the other came back to the door.
"Sure! Let's go then!" Wally happily responded softly grabbing the others larger paw and waiting for him to lead the way.
Barnaby walked hand in paw with the other down the street, both embarrassed to be displaying affection in public, but super proud for being given that affection by Wally Darling.
Soon they arrived at the small picnic Barnaby had set up before for them. Sitting down on the classic red and white checkered blanket on the grass with a basket and a small portable radio sitting by them, and Barnaby started dishing out the food and drinks for them.
Barnaby started to eat and looked over to find the other ignoring the food all together. He wondered why and soon decided to ask.
"Um, no offense, but why aren't you eating? Is there something wrong with it? Did I accidentally give you something you're allergic to?" He asked, getting increasingly worried.
"Oh, no, no don't worry, it's fine the food is fine, it's just, you've never seen how I eat and I'm rather embarrassed to show you. No offense, it's just something I'm embarrassed by." He replied gently waving the others worries away, but sparking his curiosity.
"I don't mind at all, it's fine, you don't have to be embarrassed, I am a bit of a messy eater so there is nothing you have to be embarrassed by!" The blue dog said trying to comfort Wally.
Wally looked at the other with a nervous expression, then sighed and picked up his plate, staring deeply at the food and then blinking suddenly and quickly. To Barnaby's surprise a bite sized piece of the food was suddenly gone.
"Woah! That's actually kinda really cool!" He said, taking the other by surprise at the lack of disgust and hatred.
Soon they got more and more comfortable and soon all the food was gone, and they decided to stay and talk.
"Hey, you know what we should do!" Wally messed with the small portable radio until a moderately paced, cute, love song came through.
"Dance with me!" He cheered, getting to his feet and reaching his arm out to the other. Barnaby got up, smiled sweetly, and took the other's hand.
They danced and twirled, laughing and looking at each other in a loving manner. At one point Wally tripped and feel backwards. Suddenly Barnaby grabbed the others arm attempting to catch him.
Wally clenched up in pain and letting out a small noise and after quickly getting his footing he pulled his arm away from the others grasp.
Barnaby looked at the other as the song ended, worried and confused.
He went up to the other, pulling back his sleeve, scared that his thought might be correct.
He stared in shock at the fresh and old scars running up the others arm.
Wally couldn't even look at him, he was scared and embarrassed. Suddenly he felt himself wrapped by arms.
"Wha-"
"I don't know why you are doing that, but whatever is troubling you that bad, I'm here for you. You can tell me anything that's bothering you, and I love you no matter what."
Wally felt the tears run down his face as he was spoken to, letting himself be held, like a princess that was just saved by her prince charming. But that wasn't reality, things are not that simple and basic.
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Important note, if you feel as if you are worthless or you are doing self harm yourself, please find someone to help you, you are not alone, and if you have no one else, make this your safe space. You are loved and you are priceless. Stay Safe Lovelies! < 3
