althea - josh kiszka

chapter 5

althea's pov

I tossed and turned all night. He kissed me. So then why did he freak out? What really sucks is that it was a good kiss, it was a great kiss. I'd wanted that kiss to happen for a while now - ever since I met him, actually. I should've stayed up all night giddily thinking about how great it was, not how he froze and went silent after. This sucks. I really do understand now why people advise against friends to lovers in real life.

And, of course, I have to be at his house in an hour to hang out with his brothers, friend, and - you guessed it - the man himself.

I wonder if he's told the guys...I mean, why would he? I guess I'll find out soon enough. Sam's got a mouth the size of Canada, he'll say something right away if he knows.

How will Josh and I act, though? Will we pretend it never happened? Is he like...mad at me, or something? No, it's not like I did anything. God, so many questions and so little answers.

As I settled into my car, I plugged the aux cord into my phone. When in need of direction, look to five famous musicians you've never met.

"Alright, Fleetwood Mac. Talk to me." I sighed, putting my Fleetwood Mac playlist on shuffle. "Over My Head" came on as I started backing out of my driveway.

"Oh, you fuckers."

-

I hesitantly knocked on the Kiszka's wooden door, wondering if it was possible to leave before anyone noticed I was there. But alas, footsteps pounded against the floor in my direction and within seconds I was faced with Sam.

"Althea! Long time no see." He said, swinging the door wide open and almost immediately turning back around and walking towards the kitchen. I closed the door behind myself.

"What's up in Sam's world?"

"Well, I'm currently in the middle of a...project. You're familiar with Stephen Stills, yeah?" He asked, turning his head around to look at me while still walking forward.

"Of course."

"Good. Jake and I are in disagreement as to whether Stephen Stills 1 or 2 is better, so I'm making a powerpoint to prove my correctness and musical superiority." Sam said with a grin.

I shook my head with a laugh. Sam's always debating something with someone. Very lovable kid, but quirky to say the least.

As we walked into the kitchen, Jake and Josh came into view. They were standing next to the counter and talking about something, but their conversation quickly ceased when they saw us.

"Hey!" Jake said, a smile overtaking his face.

"Hey," I smiled back. I tried my best not to look at the other Kiszka, knowing my acting skills weren't good enough to appear normal if I were to address Josh straight on.

Luckily, I was saved by the bell - doorbell - before I would've been expected to say hello to Josh. Danny walked through the door, providing a distraction from the situation.

As Jake and Sam went up to Danny to corner him for an answer as to who was correct about which Stephen Stills album was better, I made the mistake of looking Josh's way.

He was looking at me, and I knew that I only had a matter of seconds before he'd come over to me.

Sure enough, after looking over to the boys and making sure they were sufficiently distracted, Josh slowly made his way over to me.

"Can we talk?"

Oh boy. I nodded and followed him up to his room. I hadn't spent a ton of time there, but it was enough to have grown familiar with the several music and movie posters adorning his walls. The boxes of vinyls lining the bottom of the wall were neat and clearly well cared for, contrasting with the pens and papers scattered across his desk and onto his floor. His room was a peek into his mind. Organized chaos, just like him.

We sat on his bed while I traced the edge of one of his posters, noticing the corner was coming off the wall.

I waited for him to begin - I surely wasn't going to be the instigator of this awkward conversation. After a few seconds, he cleared his throat.

"So...I'm sure you're very confused as to what this might be about." Josh joked, clearly trying to break the awkward tension.

"Mhm. No idea." I gave him a small smile in an attempt to make the conversation less uncomfortable.

"Listen, I'm...I'm really sorry about," he tilted his head, "well, about all of it I guess. I wasn't really...planning on doing that, I just...I don't know, I got lost in the moment, I guess."

Oh.

So, he didn't want to kiss me? Needless to say, I was more confused than I was before this conversation had begun. Despite my slight disappointment and abundant confusion, I knew it was in everyone's best interest to play it cool and make sure there was no awkwardness. I really did like being friends with these guys, and I wasn't gonna let some teenage hormones get in the way.

I closed my eyes and shook my head, putting on a small smile. "Josh, don't worry about it. I get it. No reason to act weird."

He looked at me as if to make sure I meant what I said. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." I laughed lightly. No big deal.

"Okay," he gave me a small smile back, "so we're cool then?"

"The coolest."

He just smiled at me. Listen, I'm usually pretty good at reading people, but Josh was one person I just couldn't crack. If only I knew what was going on in his mind, my life would be significantly easier.

- -

josh's pov

So...that was bullshit. Well, I guess it was half bullshit. I didn't just get "lost in the moment", and this wasn't random and out of nowhere. I'd been wanting to do that since I met her. She was captivating, everything about her. She was beautiful - don't get me wrong - but she was also so charismatic, so talented, so passionate. I was drawn to her in a way I could never fully explain. However, it was true that I wasn't planning on doing that.

She was smiling and I was staring - probably like a creep - and we looked at each other for so long, and I couldn't help it. I came to my senses about 30 seconds too late, realizing that the band, and her being a part of the group, could be at stake here. If she wasn't interested, I could've fucked it all up.

Fortunately, she seemed to understand. However, in all honesty, a part of me was hoping she'd stop me during my long-winded explanation and tell me that I wasn't way off base and that that kiss had meant something to her too. That would just be unrealistic, though. It's better this way, no complications and no awkwardness. Right?

~~~

well! 

my apologies for disappearing for over half a year...lol. i kinda lost all motivation and i somehow couldn't make this chapter what i wanted it to be, but i'm willing to settle if it means that i can finally continue with this story. i'm gonna be the perfect present mother from now on, promise!