Two Birds on a Wire (A Diluc and Kaeya fanfic)

Part 11

A knock rang out from behind his bedroom door, and Diluc turned his head.

"Master Diluc?" Adelinde's voice called from the hallway.

Diluc sighed and sat up. He'd been laying down on his bed for hours it felt like, though he didn't actually get any rest. "What is it?"

"I have some tea for you. May I bring it in?"

Diluc wanted to throw a pillow over his head and be left alone, but he figured some tea couldn't hurt. "Fine."

With a slight creak, his door opened, and Adelinde entered the room with a tray of steaming hot tea and a small pile of cookies. She set the tray on his bedside table, then went to open the curtains. Diluc had to squint once sunlight streamed in through the window.

"What time is it?" he asked groggily.

"It's a little past four in the afternoon. Master Kaeya said you hardly touched your lunch. Do you want me to get you a little something to eat before dinner?"

"No. I'm not hungry." He felt his stomach rumble, actually, but he didn't feel like eating anything right now.

A small frown came to Adelinde's face, but she nodded. "If you change your mind, let me know."

"Okay."

The head housemaid pursed her lips and looked like she wanted to say something, but she ultimately decided against it because she left the room only a moment later, closing the door behind her. Now alone again, Diluc stood up and walked over to his window. He stared at the many grapes growing in the vineyard down below and the workers going about their business. Then he shut his curtains and went back to his bed.

He didn't usually hole up in his room like this when he got upset (he'd usually take his feelings out on target dummies), but he didn't feel like doing anything right now. He only felt like gazing up at the ceiling, so that's what he did.

'You decided that the knight's life wasn't for you.' Those words Kaeya said a few hours ago refused to leave his mind. 'You started apprenticing under Father instead, and he eventually gave you a bigger role in the winery business.'

Kaeya had seemed so unbothered by what he said, as if he didn't just tell Diluc to his face that his biggest dream didn't work out for him after all. Sure, Kaeya said that his older self was happy with the way things worked out, but Diluc wasn't sure if he believed that. How could he be, if the goal he'd been chasing for years was a dead end?

He became a knight but decided he'd rather go into the winery business? How did that add up? His passion for becoming a knight of Favonius was the very thing that led him to get his vision. He enjoyed training, and he'd read the Knights of Favonius Handbook at least five times through.

"You'll be the most esteemed knight of all one day," Crepus always told him. "Just you wait; Mondstadt will be proud to have you as its protector." Diluc trained rigorously every day to make himself worthy of his father's greatest wish, and of the Ragnvindr name. That wish started the day Diluc was born, but it grew even stronger once he got his vision. Crepus never became a knight or received a vision, and that was his biggest regret. So as soon as Diluc was old enough to wield a sword, he swore to himself that he would do everything he could to make his father proud.

How could he possibly be proud of him now? How could he let his father down like that?

Diluc had questions, many questions, but it hurt too much right now to ask them. He was afraid of the answers he might find.

What isn't Kaeya telling me?

Something had to have happened, something big. Diluc couldn't imagine he just decided one day that he didn't want to be a knight anymore. He wouldn't do that. He knew he wouldn't, not now, not ever.