(ORIGINAL BOOKS' AU) Warrior Cats - A Frail Soul's Torment

9 - Leafpool's Answers

<< Sister! >>

Leafpool stood in front of her, looking as young and beautiful as she was in her youth, her body bear no sign of what had killed her and her muzzle was lit up by a loving smile.
Squirrelflight looked at the sleeping forms of Jayfeather and Alderheart, then at her nest, were her body slept peacefully.
"This is a dream then."
She got up quickly, wanting to bury herself in her sister's embrace, yet not daring to move.

<< You can get closer. I don't bite you know. >>

Giggled Leafpool.
The red cat laughed with her, trying to chase away the pain in her heart, after all, the medicine cat died trying to help Moonlight and the Sisters and while it was her choice, Squirrelflight felt guilty. Guilty for wanting to help what was at all the effect a cult of misandrists roaming around and abandoning their own male kits when they were barely sufficient and declared to not consider them kin anymore, the same cult that had kidnapped her and Leafstar and wounded said leader out of nothing but predjudice against their Clan, the same cult that played victim and acted like treating their prisoners with gentleness made them the "good guys" while wounding a young ShadowClan members and putting themselves at risk out of nothing but being too prideful to move and think of the kits' safety first. It was her who convinced Leafstar to visit the place were the Sisters were staying, it was her who choosed to help them and risk the other Clans to get angry at hers and it was always her, that went back to them with her sister.

<< Oh Leafpool... >>

"If I hadn't refuse to accept that some cats don't deserve help..."
Looking down at her paws, she couldn't help but see the blood soaking the den floor and lapping at her paws, her own sister's blood.
"I killed you that day."

<< I know what you're thinking, sister, don't make me slap you. >>
<< But- >>
<< No buts. Since the very first moment I choose the pact of a medicine cat, it became my mission and my pleasure to help those in need. Even when I lost my position, I would have still put my knowledge at the services of a queen in labor. You are not at fault for my fate. >>
<< I know the duty of a medicine cat, but the Sisters... maybe if I hadn't insisted on stopping the Clans from chasing them away they could have gone in a safer spot and you and Moonlight would be still alive. >>
<< You're a good cat, sister, but remember that those kits were innocent and when our time comes, our Ancestors call for us in any circumstances. It was mine and Moonlight's time and if I hadn't been there, who's to say the Ancestors of the Sisters wouldn't have claimed the lives of the kits in exchange for the mother's? >>

Squirrelflight didn't answer, silently pressing her head against the tabby's chest.

<< It was my time to go. You have no one to blame, especially not yourself. >>
<< I know... >>

"Easier said than done."
The deputy stayed still for a few seconds, happy to feel her beloved sister's presence and her soft fur against hers.
Then she remembered the questions clouding her mind.

<< Oh yes, I need to ask you something. >>
<< You do? >>
<< I... I was called by Mapleshade in my dreams. >>

Leafpool's eyes widened with concern.

<< What did she want? >>
<< She just said that she wanted another chance and to clean her soul and to do it, she wanted to do the right thing helping me. >>
<< And what help could you possibly receive from that creature? >>
<< She told me that StarClan is not this good and my paws aren't steady as long as I follow them... >>

Squirrelflight started.

<< ... she told me that I should ask them if they have always been fair, with me at least. And to ask them about Ashfur. >>

Leafpool was silent, her eyes slowly found the dusty ground under her paws.

<< I mean, when you died and we both were in front of StarClan, they did judge us and put us on trial for the same lies they ordered us to tell... >>

"Not to mention that Yellowfang lied to me about something this serious to make me accept the lie..."
She had forgiven the ghost long ago, she understood of course that her sister's kits were important for the prophecy and that their fate was already decided, but it still hurt being told that she was infertile just to make her accept the risks of lying to her family, her mate and her whole Clan. It hurt more once StarClan put them on trial like they had any choice in the matter, like she had any choice in the matter especially.

<< But I know they're our protectors and guides and I know I must trust them and their actions. So please, tell me what's about them being "unfair" and Ashfur, I'm sure it's nothing. >>

"Our Ancestors would never be unfair with us. Right?"
The ghost sighed and raised her eyes, sitting down and inviting her sister to do the same.

<< Squirrelflight, I am a member of StarClan myself, but as a wise medicine cat once said to me: "A cat that made terrible choices in life, even if they weren't a murder or a betrayal, can still be the type that makes terrible decisions in death". >>
<< ... Mothwing? >>
<< Well yes, but she didn't use these specific words, she was more judgemental. >>

Squirrelflight held back a laugh, tempted to tease her sister about a possible crush on the RiverClan's medicine cat, especially since said she-cat had finally accepted the existence of StarClan, in her own way.

<< So I do have to recognize that some of the ancestors might do things that look... illogical let's say. >>
<< For example? >>
<< Well, I had to convince them that I was worthy of joining StarClan. >>
<< What?! >>

Meowed Squirrelflight in shock.

<< But why?! >>
<< You were asked by them to lie and cover my infraction of the Warrior Code, but I made my choices alone, I fell for Crowfeather and I chose to keep his kits. >>
<< But you paid for your wrongdoings! You gave up on him and chose your Clan! You watched your kits grow up not knowing who you were and not being able to be their mother! You almost lost them because of Ashfur and faced their and the Clan's rage when they found out the truth. Hollyleaf is dead and you died as well doing the right thing. How could they not have forgiven you before? >>

Leafpool gave her sister a reassuring smile.

<< I still have some feelings for him you know? Even if StarClan doesn't have borders and we all live in peace like one Clan, it's only natural they wanted to make sure I fully understood what I did wrong in life. They wouldn't have sent me to the Place of No Stars, rather in where the ghosts of cats who didn't believe in StarClan and those that still have unfinished business roam. At least until I would have proven myself worthy. >>
<< I still think it's a mouse-brained idea. >>

Muttered Squirrelflight.
"Still, it's not as bad as Mapleshade made it sound. Leafpool is right, I should trust my ancestors' judgement..."
But it still felt wrong to act like that with a cat that had suffered and paid more times for an innocent error.
"She just fell in love. The Warrior Code is important, but isn't loving someone from another Clan, or having kits as a medicine cat, far better than murdering or mistreating other cats? Isn't it less severe then a real betrayal against the Clan?"

<< Our Ancestors act in misterious ways. But you can place your faith in their paws like you place it in mine. >>

Smiled Leafpool and her sister smiled back.

<< And about the "Ashfur" thing? >>

Asked Squirrelflight, playfully poking at her sister's flank.

<< Come on~ I want to hear more of Mapleshade's argument being torn to shreds! ... Leafpool? >>

The brown tabby was silent and refusing to look at her sister.

<< Sister, talk to me. Now. >>

Finally, she took a deep breath.

<< They let him in StarClan. >>