Brother of the Desert Rats

The Stars Above

Zaelan stole another glance at the young woman beside him, as he took another long draught of wine.

Ara was staring into the fire, but her gaze seemed far away. And as the light of the flames flickered across her face, Zaelan noticed her eyes seemed a little swollen. She had been crying, he realised. He couldn't help but wonder at her life, and how she must live. Was she lonely here amongst this camp of older men? Was she insecure and frightened of leading them? Did she still bear the pain of having lost both her parents in such brutal ways? Was she burdened by the way she had to live?

Zaelan tilted back his head, and drank from the flask again. The liquid gushed down his throat, filling him with a warm tingle. His mind immediately thought of the Drelusion leaf, and his mouth seemed to go dry as a strong sense of craving washed over him. He hadn't taken any all day, and he was already starting to feel the affects of withdrawal. But he didn't want to take it anymore. Despite the comfort and distorted reality it offered, Zaelan did not want to see the faces of the ones he had once loved. As time had passed, the faces were no longer as clear as they had first been. Now when they appeared in his dreams, their faces were blurred, until it was as though they had become faceless altogether. The images disturbed Zaelan and brought him more sorrow then relief.

"So, you could not sleep either, Zaelan?"

Zaelan jumped in fright, as Ara's voice suddenly broke the silence. As he looked towards her, he saw that she was studying him thoughtfully. Her eyes were wide and filled with an childish curiosity, reminding him of the fawns he had once seen down by the streams outside the school. The sparks rising from the fire were captured within them, mesmerizing Zaelan and almost causing him to forget that she had spoken.

But at the same time, a chill seemed to run down his spine at hearing his name spoken. He shook his head. "No, Master. I rarely sleep before the crack of dawn."

For a moment, the princess's eyes softened. "Poor Zaelan, no wonder you are so weary during the day and always drifting off. I'm afraid I mistook you for being lazy." Zaelan gave a small crooked smile and for a long moment silent ensured. Then speaking in a low voice, Ara broke it once more. "Zaelan, what grave deed did you commit that you were branded and sold by your own people?"

Zaelan's gaze turned to the fire and his eyes became distant as he stared into the flames. A cold hand seemed to clutch at his heart, as memories flashed through his head. And he turned away with a shudder, as his mind conjured up the picture of a brand amongst the coals. "I was condemned for killing my commanding officer."

Ara stared at him, wide-eyed. A mixture of both horror and awe showed in her gaze. "Why did they spare you?" she wanted to know, though the question was more from curiosity then accusing.

Zaelan gave a dry laugh. "Did they?" But he shook his head, as though disappointed at his own bitterness at the question. "No, they spared me because of my bravery in previous battles. As well, as for doing it in partial self defense."

"What do you mean by that?" questioned Ara. She had turned her body towards him, and had leaned forward, giving him her full attention.

"The officer..." Zaelan bit his lip and looked away. "The officer tried to beat me and a young comrade for something we were innocent of. I took my share but when I saw my young comrade begging and struggling, rather than feel disgust, I felt pity. I tried to wrestle the officer away and started a fight. He tried to knife me and in the following struggle, he was killed. The court said that I should not have interfered or fought an officer. I should have been condemned to death or taken to the mines, but-" he cut off as he thought of his family. He had brought them enough shame. No one needed to know he was the son of such an influential man. "There was a protest, so they decided to be lenient. They then branded, flogged and sold me."

"Do you count yourself lucky?" murmured Ara softly. "Or would you rather death?"

Zaelan hesitated. He had never deeply thought on the question before. Certainly in the dark of night, he had often thought that death would have been an escape from this cruel fate. But when he actually stopped to ponder it, did he really want to die?

"I don't know," he whispered with honesty. "I came from a respected family, and was on my way to becoming an officer myself. To be brought so low, does make me wonder if death would have been kinder. But..." his voice faded away, and he leaned his head back to stare up at the night sky. "Imagine never seeing the stars again. Nor another sunset. To never feel the cool ocean breeze across one's face. Does the afterlife have all that?"

Ara followed his gaze and looked up to the stars that she had stared at with such hate only moments earlier. They still filled her with the same sense of uneasiness and brought back those dimmed memories. But as she glanced at the slave by her side, she saw the boyish look of wonder upon his face. And glancing back up to the stars, the bitter feelings faded. There was a forgotten beauty there, and a sense of awe at those bright lights that glimmered from so far away.

"I hope it is like a deep peaceful sleep. The kind you do not want to wake from."

It was Zaelan's turn to glance at her. He could see the pain clearly in her eyes, although they were still fixed to the skies. "Maybe. But I think we should build many happy moments, so that we can dream of them while we sleep. Otherwise, what would we dream of?"

Ara just shook her head at his words, before rising to her feet. "I should go to rest. The chief wishes for us to pack up the camp and return to the city as soon as possible. It is a long dangerous journey back, so you should rest as well."

She turned to go, when Zaelan's quiet voice stopped her.

"I almost wish that you would just stay cruel to me. You are confusing me when you speak to me like this."

Ara turned slowly to face him, her face showing a mix of tortured emotions. "You are bold, Zaelan. More so, from the fact that you are the one who confuses me. I was so sure of myself before I saw you that day. And I can't help but despise you for that. You are literally the embodiment of everything that I hate."

Zaelan's vision blurred as he heard her words. "Then why?" he asked in a tormented whisper. "Why did you take me?"

Ara did not reply. She spun around and walked away at a quick pace.

"Why?" Zaelan cried out after her. But she did not turn back, and Zaelan was left alone again.