Brother of the Desert Rats

The Sunrise

"No, I did not use my power over Emir."

Ara broke the silence suddenly. They had been riding at a steady pace for sometime without a single word between them. But now that they were a good distance from the camp, Ara slowed her steed down to a walk, and had half turned in her saddle to look back at Zaelan. She continued.

"My grandfather had given me some money to spend. He made the mistake of telling me I could buy whatever I wanted with it. So out of spite I had arisen early in the morning and saddled Vadd to ride out to Rune. My intention was to buy a bundle of crimson cloth, but...but I changed my mind when I saw you." She turned away, no longer wanting to make eye contact with him. "It wasn't pity. I just wanted to annoy my grandfather as much as I possibly could. And I knew bringing you home would do just that. But when I rode out, Emir followed me. I couldn't make a fuss about it, as it would just cause a commotion and I would have been caught before I even left. So, I just let him tag along." She paused for a moment, and her gaze lowered thoughtfully. "Anyway, I suppose it was his right. He is half Eastern, so he should be allowed to explore his heritage and see the place where his mother was born."

Something in the tone of her voice made Zaelan think that she wasn't talking about Emir anymore. The bitter resentment had crept back into her tone, and her mouth had been drawn back into that hard line. But he did not probe for more answers. He knew he had asked too many already.

Time passed slowly with the silence that surrounded them. The desert was eerily quiet. Not even the creatures of the night made a sound. Without realising, Zaelan began to hum softly to himself. It was a forgotten habit of his. Back when he and Zarek had patrolled the roads together, they had often hummed in union or sung to pass the time. He smiled softly to himself now as he remembered how they had brutally teased each other when one forgot the words or messed up the tune. Thinking back on it now, Zaelan couldn't help but wonder how much crime had happened under their watch, if they had been so busy mucking around. It was a wonder they hadn't been split up by their commanding officers.

He fell silent again. Those days were long gone and he was a fool for reminiscing them. Never again would he ride by Zarek's side. Never again would their voices mix together in joyful harmony. Never again would they even lift glasses together and drink. In a single moment, all of that had fallen apart and the brotherhood had ended.

A tightness filled Zaelan's chest and he leaned forward gasping for air that seemed like it would not come. A sharp pain shot through his head, and the high pitched ringing rang through his ears.

"You shouldn't fight it. It will hurt more if you try to suppress it."

The voice seemed to cut through the cloud of pain, and it cleared slightly. Straightening himself in the saddle, Zaelan was able to see Ara's blurred face before him. It took him a moment to realise, she had pulled Vym to a halt. He gasped again, and this time, he managed to suck in a gulp of much needed air.

"You loved, and you cared. That is why it brings so much pain now. You were happy, and then you lost it. It is okay to grieve that loss, Zaelan. There is no one out here that will condemn you for it."

Tears stung Zaelan's eyes at her words, but he still fought to hold himself together.

"What is the point? It won't change what happened. Besides, aren't you being a hypocrite?"

Ara's eyes widened at his sudden accusation, and she drew back, her hand falling from the reins.

"You are right. I am a hypocrite. I did not grieve the loss of my parents. I did not grieve for the beautiful and familiar life that I lost. I did not even grieve for the cruel life that was suddenly thrust upon me. Last night was the first time in almost 20 years that I showed any sign of weakness. Why? Because last night I realised just how out of control my life truly was. Because I saw that everything I ever wanted was slipping further and further away. And you are right, tears won't change that. I guess I must have looked so pathetic to you then."