Brother of the Desert Rats

Broken Can Still Be Beautiful

Zaelan stirred restlessly, his heavy lids struggling and failing to open. He was captured in a world of darkness where no light could enter. His hands flailed in the dark, as though he thought he could push the shadows away. But his limbs felt strangely heavy, and his arms fell back to his side. Something warm clasped about his wrists, pinning him down, and Zaelan screamed at it.

He screamed until his throat was raw, and his chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. The cold air that sucked into his lungs, burned and stung his throat, causing him to gasp all the more. Then suddenly he heard it. 

A husky voice that held a hint of femininity and softness. It soothed his anxious mind, and chased away his troubled thoughts.

Night and darkness falls
The sun flees away
But soon it will return
With a bright new day

The moon shines down
The silver stars appear
I am by your side tonight
There is nothing for you to fear

So, don't you cry
Don't you weep
Close your tired eyes
And softly go to sleep

Sleep and dream
My little one
And in the morning wake
With the rising sun

Zaelan's breaths came steady now, and his heart beat calmly. But just as he was about to settle into a light sleep, he felt the bed dip as the person by side rose to leave him. Zaelan's hand immediately moved to grasp them.

"Don't leave me, Maya," he begged, although his words slurred. "I don't want to be in the dark alone."

"I am not your sister," the dim distorted figure answered him in a cold sharp voice.

Zaelan flinched at the tone, and his vision began to clear as his eyes finally allowed themselves to open and adjust to the light.

It was Ara.

For a long silent moment, the two held each other's gaze. Then Ara pulled her hand from his grasp and walked away.

Zaelan tried to push himself up, but he was quickly pulled back. Glancing to see who it was, Zaelan saw to his surprise that Captain Lev and Emir were both by his side.

Captain Lev shook his head, not needing to say a word for Zaelan to understand his disappointment and anger.

Emir, however, was more vocal.

"You stupid fool," he exclaimed, all but tossing the bowl of water he held onto the bedside table. "Did I not warn you of the dangers of taking the damn Drelusion leaf?"

"Hush, Emir," Captain Lev scolded, pushing Emir back. He then leaned forwards to study Zaelan closely. "Do you know where you are? Or who we are?"

Zaelan nodded, and immediately regretted it, as his head throbbed painfully.

"I am in Brunhelm," he replied, feeling relieved that his voice sounded stronger than before. "And you are Captain Lev. And he is Emir."

Captain Lev nodded. "Very good. You are extremely lucky it did not affect your brain. And you are even luckier that Chief Balor has decided he won't drag you out to the courtyard and have you flogged. Though I admit, I am half tempted to do it myself. What were you thinking, boy?"

Zaelan lowered his gaze. Why didn't the captain of Brunhelm do exactly that? Why did he look at him now with such concern?

"Ara," he whispered. "Was she angry with me?"

"Of course she was," Emir mumbled, as he picked up a cloth and began wiping up the water he had previously spilled from the bowl. "She berated me harshly for not having told anyone that you were taking it."

Zaelan glanced at him, and felt a pang of guilt as he realised the younger man bore a bruise upon his face.

Noticing his look, Captain Lev cleared his throat uncomfortably. "It was me who struck him. Ara would not  do such a thing."

"She would if it weren't for her grandfather," Emir mumbled under his breath, still wiping at the bedside table, despite the surface being dried.

Captain Lev sighed and shook his head. "Both you boys needs to stop wallowing in self-pity. Emir, you know that Ara's destiny was laid out before she was even born. You also know that because of this fate, she must be the person that she now is. And you, Zaelan. You can not change the things that were done. I know well how it is to be betrayed by those that you swore brotherhood with. I know the deep hurt of losing your family. But dwelling on it won't help you in any way. It has happened, and nothing will ever change that. But you can change the future."

Zaelan said nothing, as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut. It still didn't make sense to him. Perhaps it was just that his mind was too tired to comprehend it all. He felt Captain Lev pat his arm, before hearing both pairs of footsteps leave the room.

Sighing softly, Zaelan opened his eyes again. As his vision clearer once more, he found to his surprise that he was not lying on the bed of his own room. Half sitting up, and glancing around in wonder at the beautiful tapestries that lined the walls, Zaelan realised he was lying on a low bed in the room of the princess. Had Ara been tending to him herself?

As though on cue, Ara entered the room carrying a tray of steaming hot stew. She handed it wordlessly to him, before moving to clear everything off the bedside table.

Zaelan watched her, leaving the food untouched. But the silence grew heavier, until he could not bear the weight of it.

"I'm sorry, Master," he found himself whispering. It came out more like a plead than he had intended. "I was wrong."

Ara did not reply straight away. She just sat by the side of his bed and took the tray from him. Then taking up the spoon in her own hands, she lifted it to his mouth.

"Eat," she commanded him softly when he made no move to open his lips. "You can not continue destroying yourself like this."

Zaelan shook his head. 

"I'm broken, Ara," he told her. His eyes fixed upon hers, begging her to understand.

Ara gazed at him, before rising to her feet and walking away.

Zaelan lay back against his pillow, and closed his eyes. But a tear still managed to escape them. Deep down inside, he had half-heartedly hoped that Ara would argue against his words. A movement by his side made him look up. Ara had returned.

Wordlessly, she pushed something into his hands.

Sitting up, Zaelan stared down at the object. It was a beautiful black vase with intricate pictures in gold. But it had been chipped, and a crack ran down it's side.

"This vase is also broken, but it still holds water. Not everyone will see its worth, even though it is able to do the purpose it was made for. But there are some that will appreciate it all the more for its quality and strength. And the crack does not make it ugly. It is still the same beautiful vase that it was before, even if it now holds a scar."

Zaelan's finger ran over the vase, tracing the crack back and forth.

"Why do you care? Is it because of the money you spent on me back then?"

Ara's brow furrowed as though not fully understanding his question.

"If it were just about the money I had spent, I would not have brought you into my own dwellings. I would have just had the maids tend to you. I brought you here because I did not like that look that I glimpsed in your eyes. I truly wish for you to heal well."

Zaelan ceased his hand's movements over the vase, and raised his head slowly to meet Ara's gaze once more.

"Do you really truly care though? You told me once that you despised me. That I was the embodiment of all that you hated. Why then would you care if I died?"

Ara flinched back at his words, and Zaelan knew the horror of an unspeakable memory had flashed through her mind.

It was death. Death frightened her to her utter core.

And in moment, Zaelan regretted both his actions and his words. He vowed then and there, that never would he die before her.