Protection

Chapter 2.

The next few weeks passed in a sort of androgenous blur. I couldn't bring myself to eat, to leave my bed, to cry. I was living an emotionless life. All I felt was the complete paranoia that took over my body. On occassions it caused me to shake and tremble with so much fear.

There were so many times that I wanted to curl up and die. I wanted to die so so much.

I couldn't face school, I couldn't even face my family. They crept around me like I was a bedridden invalid. I suppose I was really.

The thought of going back to school made me cry. I've always been the inexperienced one in my group of friends. Especially compared to my friend Su Lin.

She has done quite literally everything, probably with every boy in Birmingham. Until I met Su Lin in year 8 I thought a condom was a slang word for a banana skin. Seriously. Don't laugh.

The thing is that now I'm not a virgin. Obviously unwillingly but I'm not. I couldn't have shown my face. Everyone knew.

It was hard to come to terms with what happened, but after two months I decided to leave the house.

My mum cried. Hugh, my stepdad, cried. My little brother didn't know so obviously he didn't cry. I think inside my cat was crying because he cares.

It was then that I met Robert Blackley. For the second time anyway. This is how it happened:..

28.6.08

Dear diary,

Today I left the house. I know- I left the house. It was crazy. It was amazing. It was everything I imagined it wouldn't be.

I met this guy. He's called Rob. Robert Blackley. He's really good looking. To the point where he could be described as some sort of god. Or Adonis. Or Michaelangelo's David. He's tall to start with. Really tall. Like over 6 feet tall.

And he has these amazing green eyes. And his jawline's really defined. And his body is just perfect.

But anyway onto how I met him. I was walking to HMV down the road. I was so scared. It was like everyone was out to get me. I think some of them were. Any time I saw a tracksuit or longish hair I thought it was all going to happen again.

As I arrived at HMV I was genuinely considering turning back home and eating my feelings until the pain and fear was numb again.

But then I saw the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen. The first thing I saw his was his back as he looked at the glam rock section. Glam rock? That's an um different taste. He was wearing a black t-shirt, black skinny jeans and purple converse. His converse looked really battered. The overall effect was really hot and left me feeling a bit flushed and confused (as always).

I think he sensed I was stood behind him staring at his arse or something because he turned around and kind of half smiled at me.

I literally think my heart melted and landed somewhere in the area of my liver. His eyes were that green.

His smile was lazy and crooked and asdkrjvnfkenebeicje

"Hey, sup," he said.

I think I cried a bit.

"Um hi- I- sup dog." WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY DOG?

"You're funny," he smirked.

"No I'm Rosa." I said in what was probably a tragic attempt at being witty.

"Hey I'm Robert." He drawled.

"Robert who?" I asked probably a little too eagerly.

"Blackley. Rob Blackley. And you Rosie Posie?"

Help he called me Rosie Posie.

"Rosa Haines. Nice to meet you." He shook my hand. I may never wash it again.

"Well Rosa Haines, do you maybe possibly have a phone number I could have?" He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

I was completely blown away that he would want my number.

I scrabbled in my bag for my notepad and wrote my number down on it. I was considering sealing it with a kiss but I didn't want to look like a knob so I just handed it over with a smile. He tucked it into his back pocket and gave me a quick grin.

"I'll see you around Rosa Haines," he said lazily and sauntered out of the shop.

I was left stood there smiling like an insane idiot. I must have stood there for like 5 minutes. But I don't care. Rob Blakely (the original sex god) took my number.

I'm so done.