Tipsy

Twenty-Three

⚠️ Warning: Insinuations of abuse. Proceed with caution.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Hallie

This was a prison. My version of hell. Family time never felt like a family. It was literally torture in my mind. I didn't know which was worse, spending time with Jodi alone or spending time with Rick. With Rick, I at least knew what I was getting into. He no longer held power over me once I moved out. Where sometimes his manipulations could take hours or even days to convince me it was my idea, I learned to shut it off. Sometimes all it took was the look of pure disgust I held for him. Sometimes it took my words. I tried telling Jodi many times, but my head always went back to it being my idea. I approached Rick first, and I was so scared Jodi would be mad at me for seducing him—his term.

We played games as a family; we had holidays as a family; we ate meals as one. I would become this robot version of myself, where I could tune them out and still function. Every kid I knew in the system wanted a family, and here I was with mine. It made me feel selfish.

I'd been holed up in a room by myself for days, crying over a stupid boy.

But Mikah wasn't stupid. And he wasn't a boy. I stomped away from Mikah over a stupid blog. A blog that revolved around the experiences I wanted most, and now the only person I wanted to experience them with was him. It just felt so personal. I had a space that was free where I could say whatever I wanted, and he was reading every word, knowing it was about him.

Mikah was the only person in the world I wanted right now. Everything in me screamed he didn't want the same. That the blog was a game he was playing; even though he denied it. And then there was Shelby and the ring. I thought his lips hadn't been touched by anyone in months. I thought our kiss on New Year's Eve was special, because he let go of his rule for me. He'd let go of that rule much earlier.

While turned and facing the wall that my bed was up against, I'd heard the door open for probably the tenth time today. I wasn't sure who it was checking on me, Jodi or Rick. Maybe it was both. I pretended to be asleep each time, and so far, it had been working. However, this time, the door stayed open.

"Jodi made pork chops and green bean casserole," Rick said, hovering and waiting for a reply.

"I'm not hungry."

"That's what you said for breakfast and lunch, too."

"I wasn't hungry then, either."

Rick sighed. "We haven't seen you like this since you and TJ split."

"This isn't the same."

"How so?"

Tears ran over the bridge of my nose. I used my comforter to brush them away. Because TJ wasn't Mikah. I was young when TJ broke my heart. I thought the world had ended, because I lost my best friend. I even blamed him when I knew I'd started our downfall. I never opened up to him the way I should have, because I was a kid who didn't know better. TJ wanted a family for the wrong reasons, and he believed I went behind his back. He never made himself approachable to tell him the truth. But with Mikah, I knew I could tell him about my past, and he wouldn't flee. We fought, we played, but he always made it apparent that he was trustworthy—especially after the Dean incident.

And that's why I knew deep down that he was telling the truth about Shelby, but it still hurt.

Rick stepped further into the room—it was a move I feared more than anything, and it had been years since he'd been this far.

My entire body went rigid. "Get out."

"You know you can talk to me, Hal. I don't enjoy seeing you like this."