🐨 I'm missing you 🐨

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보고 싶다, 이렇게 말하니까 더 보고 싶다
너희 사진을 보고 있어도 보고 싶다

-Spring Day

It's been five years since I last saw Kim Seokjin but it's still the same every morning and this one is no different. I wake up expecting his warm embrace and then it all comes crashing back down on me again.

Luckily I have three stars guiding me along this dark path. They're the only things keeping me together, and they're going to want food soon so I probably get up now.

I dress. The same as I do every day. It takes me 10 minutes including brushing my teeth and combing my hair but I build in an extra five minutes to stare at the closet that feels too empty without his clothes. I still have them in a storage locker. I'll get rid of them . . . eventually.

When I'm sure I've assembled the pieces of me into something presentable I head to the kitchen and start breakfast. The eggs cook quickly, too quickly, and I burn them. Sighing I start again, the first ones are always bad.

Just as I finish the first (or should I say last) star enters the kitchen. Kim Jungkook. Then the first, Kim Jimin

"Appa burnt the eggs again," Jimin says, it's not a judgement, just a fact. His voice sounds far away, he always sounds far away, like he can tell I'm not whole and is looking for the missing piece.

Kook, the youngest by two years, takes a small navy blue apron from the hook and begins wordlessly pouring batter into the waffle iron.

Jungkook looks like Jin. Which makes sense because he's half Jin's biologically. It's like having a small piece of him with me and I'll be sad when grows up and doesn't cling to me as much. He has jet-black hair and big brown eyes like pools of the universe that you can see deep into. Jimin was our first child, adopted, and looks like neither of us yet both of us. Fluffy hair, light brown with soft subtly down-turned eyes, heart-shaped lips that make for an all-around soft face.

I shake my thoughts just in time to save the second batch of eggs. I plate them as Tae comes down the stairs. He's covered in paint, he's always covered in paint. Jungkook loves to draw but Tae's passion is painting. Anything and everything. I sigh.

Tae looks like me, he's half mine biologically. He has golden skin and thick fluffy dark brown hair with graceful almond eyes. I don't think he looks like me but Jin always said so, so it must be true.

When we finish I send everyone upstairs to wash up and get dressed. When they come down I can't help but feel guilty. Jin wanted to homeschool them, I would, if I could but being an Emergency Room surgeon I don't have the time.

At the very least they attend the same elementary school. Jungkook is in 1st grade and Jimin and Taehyung are in 3rd.

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