⭐️ I Could Never Forget You | Namjin

🐹 On a train no one remembers 🐹

그래, 밉다 니가 넌 떠났지만

단 하루도 너를 잊은 적이 없었지 난

- Spring Day

I watch fondly as Namjoon- I mean Dr. Kim waddles up the stairs with his big comforter. He really is an adorable sight.

It turns out that entertaining the Kim children is very easy. They are extremely well-behaved. I play a few rounds of Overwatch with Jungkook (he kicks my bootae) then he draws a picture of Nam- ah! I keep forgetting Dr. Kim. I watch as he draws the last line on his father.

"Are you finished?"

"No! I haven't even started drawing you yet! Quiet, I have to focus. Look here, so I can see your nose better." He gives me a very stern serious look that looks more like it belongs on the face of an old woman than a young boy. I obey because I am in shock.

"Me?"

"No, the tree in the back garden." He looks dead serious. "Yes, you. Now stop talking and move to the right a little."

I laugh at his enthusiasm and then sit still as a statue, it doesn't take long for him to finish. It fills me with a warmth to think that he'd like to add me to his family picture but it also stirs up a certain feeling of awkwardness.

I listen to Taehyung play a song called Spring Day on the Violin. It's beautiful and Jimin sings along with him.

Then we all go outside to play in the back garden. I didn't go out here the other day because it was raining (there have been terrible thunderstorms this past week), so I've never seen it. I am very curious.

Namjoon's back garden is huge. It has no fence and opens out to the countryside. I can't tell where The Kim Family's land stops. The immediate area has a swing set, a jungle gym, a sandbox, Rockwall, and a big tree house with a rope, a lookout point and an actual door. A small birdhouse hangs from it. It's beautiful. I suddenly have a vivid memory of wanting something like this for my children if I ever had them and I get a weird sense of deja vu or better yet, Jamais Vu. Like, this should be familiar to me but isn't.

The three family dogs, Rapmon or Monie, (a white fluffy dog) Yeontan (a small black and tan teacup pomeranian), and Bam (the youngest and biggest of the three, a Doberman) wrestle in the sandbox. Bam flings sand and I jump out of the way to avoid it.

Jimin swings on the swings, and Tae balances in the middle of the seesaw he says it's better for balancing than the balance beam. (yes they have a seesaw and a balance beam). Jungkook climbs on top of the tree house and looks out to the sky.

Watching them like this makes me sad and happy at the same time. It makes me long for my missing piece. I want to hurry up and find him already so that I can start a family. I sigh. I gave up hope a long time ago so why can't I just accept that? Why can't I just accept I will never have this? This isn't for me anymore. Yet, for some reason meeting Namjoon and his family has made me want to keep looking again.

I hope he finds love again, and meets another nice woman who can be the perfect mother to his children. I don't know why I am so invested in somebody's life that isn't my own but I just really don't want him to be lonely. Someone as kind and pure and caring and compassionate and hardworking as him doesn't deserve loneliness. His sweet loving boys deserve a mother. If I can't find someone, Namjoon at least should. It may be too late for me but I refuse to believe that it's too late for him.

Shaking me from my thoughts the boys usher me inside for another round of Overwatch, this time all of us together.

Before I know it's 5:30. I should probably leave and let the Kims have dinner.