my eyes fluttered open as i rolled over in my warm blankets. the early morning sun cut through the shades and glared in my eyes. as i slowly started to wake up, my alarm faded into my hearing. i reached my arm out of my warm cocoon of blankets and on to the dresser where my phone lay.
8:30 a.m.
i swiftly turned off my alarm and kicked my blankets off. i sat up and put my feet on the cold hardwood floor. i shivered as i grabbed a bikini, a pair of jean shorts, and a flannel and made my way down the hall to the bathroom. i quickly washed my face, brushed my teeth, and got dressed.
i went back to my room to pack my backpack for the day. snacks, water, ibuprofen, my book, chargers, hair ties, tampons. what ever you can think of, i probably have it in my bag. last but not least, i packed my polaroid camera. it's the only thing i have of my mom's. she decided to leave it with me, probably because i used to play around with it all the time. it's an old piece of shit but it's definitely my favorite thing in the world. i take it everywhere. capturing my favorite moments on small square pieces of film. my friends get tired of me snapping their pictures, but i just want to remember those moments. those moments when i'm at my happiest. because even when i'm at my lowest, i can look back at those pictures, and all those feelings come rushing back to me. i know i could just use my phone, but there is just something different about physically holding a picture. it makes it feel more real, ya know? i carefully sat the camera, along with some extra film, in my bag and zipped it up.
i stepped out of my room and made my way to john b's room.
"jb wake up! first day of summer!" i yelled as i banged on his door.
i heard shuffling in his room, so i took it as a sign that he was awake. i carried myself through the living room making my way into the kitchen.
"hey cupcake." jj said tiredly as he raised up off the couch.
i jumped. "jesus, jj! when the hell did you get here?"
"about 3 a.m., pops started drinking again." he stood up and walked towards me.
"well that saves us a stop." i replied, as i deflected a discussion about his abusive father. i know he hates taking about it.
"what are you talking about?" he asked with a confused expression.
"we are taking the pogue out fishing. ya know. a first day of summer break celebration." i hit his shoulder with enthusiasm.
"ah hell yeah!" he smiled.
"hey i'm gonna make some coffee, you want a cup?" i asked as i made my way through the kitchen opening.
"absolutely not, that shit is disgusting." he walked towards the bathroom.
i rolled my eyes and began brewing the coffee and making 6 pieces of peanut butter toast, 2 for each of us. i sat them out on 3 plates. and when back to pour 2 cups of coffee. i carefully carried the the plates out into the living room and sat them in the coffee table.
"boys! breakfast is in the living room." i yelled as i made my way back in the kitchen to grab the 2 mugs of coffee.
when i made my way back jj and john b were both sat on the left and right side of the couch, ready for the day. i sat in the middle of them sitting john b's cup of coffee in front of him, and taking a sip of mine.
"thanks for breakfast mommy." jj said with mouthful of toast as he kissed me on the cheek.
"yeah thanks max." john b said as he repeated jj's actions, leaving me with peanut butter on both my checks.
"yeah i basically am your guy's mom at this point." i joked as i wiped my hands down my cheeks wiping off the peanut butter residue.
"you know we love you." john b replied batting his eyelashes.
