Tɪʟʟ Dᴇᴀᴛʜ Dᴏ Us Pᴀʀᴛ ❤︎ ~Seongjoong~

10: The cut that always bleeds...

Seonghwa stood still as the wind blew in his long ash-blond hair. He stared down as millions of unspoken words filled the air, a pit in his throat as guilt and shame filled him and suffocated him. He felt he had no right to stand in front of his mother but wanted so badly to talk to her. "Hi, Mum! You're probably wondering why I am here, right?"

Seonghwa looked at the gravestone in front of him, a continuous reminder that he would never see her again. He missed the way she would spread her hands wide whenever she saw him inviting him in for a big hug, how she would make his favourite strawberry cake, the smell of her perfume that always floated in the air as she walked by and always comforting him, her warmth a safe haven for him, he missed everything about her.

"Am-am getting married! I know you already know but just wanted to tell you myself." He forced himself to say, no happy emotions in his voice. He knew that he should be more excited than he was, but it felt more like a death sentence than a purposely happy engagement between them. "I know, you're probably upset with me right now. Fuming in fact but I just don't know what to do." He broke down, no longer able to hold it down, his knees also giving up on him.

He cried for everything he had lost and those he will soon lose too, all the emotions that had been building up inside him exploding as he spoke to his mum. He often wondered if his mum was still here, would she have told him what to do, supported, and even protected him? A question sadly left to be unanswered. It ate him up from inside to know that he should have never accepted that damned proposal, but he had no other choice. "Mum, what should I do? I-I feel l-like I might die if I go through with this. Am scared, Mom. I need you!"

He sat there, crying, his heart broken, and he could only imagine how much more his mum would be as she watched her son from above. He just wanted this to be a bad dream that he would wake up from and would be his 19-year-old self again. He, who was happy, doe-eyed naive and still clueless about the cruel world around him.

"Should I just run away?" He sniffled, futilely wiping the tears that run down his face. "I know it's ridiculous and a stupid thing to think but that's all I can think of but it might work, right?" He sniffled pulling out his phone and looking at the time when it wouldn't stop buzzing.

11:45 am
He inwardly cursed and quickly stood up, dusting his jeans and drying his face. As much as he wanted to stay with his mum and talk and just be with her for a minute longer, he had other places to be, a clear indication from the texts he got, places he really couldn't afford to not be at as much as he loathed to be there.

"I guess I'll see you soon, Mum." He respectfully paid his respects and hurriedly collected his belongings and headed for his car still ignoring whoever was blowing up his phone, but he already knew who it was. 

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Seonghwa opened his apartment and was not surprised to see Hyun on the couch looking livid, his jaw was tense and he could practically see the bulging vein on his face and neck. The deathly grip on his phone further confirmed his suspicions. "So where did you go so early in the morning? And why the fuck were you not answering your phone?"

Seonghwa froze the question weighing heavily on him. He could either anger Hyun more if he doesn't think his answer through properly.

"Did you not hear what I fucking asked?" He yelled, walking closer to Seonghwa who was now shaking. "Where the fuck did you go?" He seethed.

"I-I went ou-ut for a wal-" Hyun forcibly grabbed his hair, effectively making Hwa stop talking and look up at him with sheer terror.

"ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME? WE BOTH KNOW YOU WEREN'T ON A FUCKING WALK! WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU! AND MAYBE! Just maybe, I won't be too mad with you." Hyun yelled, the grip on his hair only tightened and made him wince, his eyes becoming glossy with unshed tears.