In My Palm Yet Out of Reach

Chapter One: The first word

I started yet another chapter of my life at Halki Higher Secondary School. I was new and alone walking on the unfamiliar path, gazing at the unfamiliar sights, and entwining my webs with unfamiliar people with an uneasiness deep down, but plastering a big smile outside.

Not long after being in an unfamiliar place, taking a step closer to distant people every day, and shouldering the responsibility of attending to my students, our school was expecting a new English teacher. As a member of the English department, I was quite excited about this. I hoped that the teacher to be a young lady since I wanted a friend who was around my age in the same department. This was not because I am unhappy with senior teachers but because I wanted someone close to me in the new place to get the warmth of closeness. I wanted someone with whom I can burst my laughter without trying hard to hold it, with whom I can cry out at top of my voice, and with whom I can share the warmth of embracement igniting the light of happiness in the new place together.

However, my life and my hope are always opposite poles. I don't know why but things happening to me are always opposite from the way I hoped or wished them to be. No difference here too. Our school welcomed a male teacher instead of a female, nevertheless, he was around my age. We have two different staff rooms and he was placed in the next room. Our school had nearly 74 staff and we hardly meet with every one of them until we have some staff meetings or gatherings.

A monotonous day continued and I dwelled just the way before being someone either engrossed in doing some school work or writing my fan fic. Don't think of me taking the first step toward my fellow new teacher as I hardly see him. Besides, it had been quite a time without a department gathering. Thus, I forgot the existence of a new colleague.

It was nearing the end of the week after our new sir's arrival. I was writing fanfic and lost in the world of my dreamland when I heard a faded voice that jolted me back to reality. I turned around and saw our new Sir standing right before my eyes with an English textbook in his hand. By the way, he was assigned to the Nine 'B' class where Nine 'A' was handled by me.

"Hello ma'am," was the first thing that escaped his mouth.

"Hi, Sir," I replied with a birth of smile on my face.

"Ma'am, can you please help me with how to go with the teaching? This is my first time and I am unaware of how to follow the lesson. Please tell me the sequence of lessons you have taught so far so that I can follow you, ma'am." He requested.

I felt awkward and uneasy from the way he converse since he was speaking as if to someone who is far senior or better than him. I don't deserve a respect like that. After all, I was just like him pursuing the teaching profession for the first time.

''I am also having a difficult time here. This is the first time for me too. Still then I would love to help you if I can. I will share my lesson plans with you. You can follow that one, sir." I answered.

"Oh! Ma'am, you can add me on telegram from the English group. You can send the lessons there."

"Okay, I will do that."

"Thank you so much, ma'am."

"It is my pleasure, sir." I smiled and he turned away creating a distance between us and finally exiting through the staffroom one.

"Look, he is so respectful to me as if I am a senior teacher. I felt like laughing at his way of speaking and gesture, at the same time I felt awkward too." I giggled and shared what just happened to my friend Miya who was sitting right next to me.

"Aww... that's so funny. He might be nervous and had a bit of fear as a newcomer just like we were in the beginning." Both of us shared a bit of laughter and in the meantime I was done sending the lesson plan files to the new Sir.