FINDING LIFE

BENZOS AND CANNABIS (4)

"They love to commit crime

And among many, I am their favorite crime."

I had one of those days when everything just went wrong. If there is any god, then I would love to have a chat him. As if he is sitting there just to make our lives worse. He sure does love to play a villain.

Initially I might have been forced to work but I came to enjoy it. It made me feel as if I was needed by someone, that I can be useful to someone. And how am I going to tell my parents, they need their weekly payment of 250 dollars.

Standing in front of the house makes me feel that I am doomed and yet I entered this hell. This house always reeks of cigarettes and alcohol. I try to clean it much as I can, but they are more efficient at dirtying it. They aren't home yet but very soon they will be. So, I decided to cook dinner first. After years of cooking and getting burns and beatings, I have gotten the hang of it.

I heard the doorknob jingling...they are home.

"Good evening mother & father. Dinner is ready, allow me to serve it." Answer was a slap to my face; it stung but I didn't utter a word.

"You wench, always adamant on making our life hell. We provided you with a roof over your head, isn't that enough. Apparently not, your father received a call from school during his work. Why did you not go to school on time. Always tarnishing our image."

"Darling calm down, this bitch must be whoring around and maybe that's how she was born. But don't worry, I will teach her rule number 1 again." Hearing all this is nothing new. They love to remind me that I am kid of a whore who got rid of me. These words no longer make me cry.

My father started advancing toward me slowly like a hunter with a sinister smile on his face. They are going to enjoy it as much as it will hurt me.

"Sorry father, I will never create nuisance for you ever again... I promise. Please let it go this time, I am not healed yet. And I even received my wages today. You know, I won't be able to work tomorrow...please father." The first rule was to never create nuisance for them. I begged with an emotionless face but somehow, I know that it's not going to work.

Soon he grabbed my hair to make me look at him. "YOU HAD ALWAYS BEEN WASTE OF SPACE." Then proceeded to take the money filled envelope out of my pocket and passed it to mother.

With no remorse he threw me against the wall...my shoulder took the blunt of it and my heart will take the blunt of their words.

"I was a fool to take you in, should have thrown you out. Get up this instant and get me some Cannabis and Benzos." Cradling myself I tried to get up because he was letting me go that way too easily and I couldn't irk them any further. So, I walked out of there as hurriedly as my body allowed. Asking for money would have been useless. I will have to use mine and that shit is expensive. After walking down a few houses down, I stopped to put some stones from sidewalk in my pocket and to tame my hair and put on the hood up to cover my face because that alley is shady as hell.

After walking a while, I reached the alley. It looks normal in the beginning with a few big garbage containers but the deeper you go the rowdier people you will see and the supplier is the fittest guy here. So, he is easy to locate.

"Benzos and Cannabis...50$" I straightaway asked him. I have been here a few times and this guy freaks me more than the other drug addicts here because he knows exactly what he is doing without the drugs influencing his conscience. He is destroying people knowingly.

I extended my hand to take "stuff" and in the pretense of giving it to me, he pulled me toward me and took a sniff of me.

"Hmm, I see. Still not using this stuff for yourself. My offer still stands, try it and for you it will be free." he said while inching even closer and tracing my hands with his fingers. I know his tricks. So, I snatched the drugs from his hand and bent his fingers to a painful position. He jumped away from me and that gave me enough time to run away but not before throwing one of the stones at his face.

If I had more power in this weak body, I would have knocked him out with a single punch. I didn't run far because if he was to follow me, I would have been easily caught. So, I hid inside a 24-hour convenience store to make sure he wasn't following me and to grab some painkillers too. From what I think he won't risk getting caught running after me in a public place while carrying drugs. Either way I still have a few stones left. After waiting for another 15 minutes, I walked out without paying for the painkillers. I know it's illegal, but I need to save every penny.

"So now I am a thief too. How much more miserable can I be? Is it always going to be like this? Getting beaten up, stealing things, this pain... won't it be easy if I just end it?

Shall I jump in front of that black car or just anger my parents to the point that they do it themselves?"

With these thoughts before I knew it, I was standing in front of the house that made me question my existence. Removing the hood, I went inside but no one was in the living room. So, putting it on the table I started cleaning the mess that they created. Every muscle was protesting against working any longer but if I don't do it now then I will have to do it in the morning.

When I came here, every day was like a dream come true... every day was Christmas. Every day I celebrated having parents and they celebrated having a daughter. We completed each other. Smile never left our faces. But those smiles had an expiry date.

And I went to bed reminiscing about those beautiful days where I knew what it was like to have a family. 

Hello guys, I know there are lots of stories in this genre but I am trying to have my version of it. So, please do provide feedback in the comments.

LIKE AND COMMENT.

AND ONE MORE THING...YOU ARE REALLY BEAUTIFUL, DONT FORGET TO DRINK WATER AND SMILE.