dauston and zakk: a love of another kind

dauston

zakk and i have been best friends for as long as i can remember. we are such good friends and i enjoy being around him. not in a gay way though. zakk, gavin, and i joke with each other and touch each other's thighs. it's absolutely hilarious, especially when the girl in front of me in band practice hears me. mr. puchek has caught us a couple of times, too, but everyone laughs at us. lately, though, i've been wondering if zakk is joking as much as i am. he just has this look that he gives me and i'm worried he think i like him in that way. i know i say i like men and stuff, but i'm obviously kidding!! i'm talking to this girl, lacey. she's really nice and funny. we play the same instrument in jazz band, too, so we have some time together on mondays. after i was talking to zakk about her, he seemed upset? i'm not sure why that would bother him. maybe he liked her or something. i don't think he likes guys. he's been talking to this girl that's a sophomore. she goes to west high school. she's nice and i think her and zakk are a good fit. he just seems happier around me than his own girlfriend? maybe he's a big believer in "bros over hoes," but i'm not. as tyler, the creator said, "And they say, "Bros over hoes", I'm like, "Hmm, nah, hey" I would rather hold your hand than have a cool handshake." that's something zakk and i don't connect with. he likes musicals. a lot. he sings and dances and plays a ton of different instruments. do i admire him somewhat for that? of course, who wouldn't? but would i try to do that? no no no. i like the complete opposite of that. i like tyler, ed sheeran, dream, lil tecca, and lil nas x. lil nas is my least favorite just because he's gay. i'm not homophobic, it just goes against my religion and it's kinda weird. but like mr. palmetto's gay and chill so i don't know. maybe he's an exception. zakk has been interrupting me and laceys time together lately, too. he always comes up to me and her in jazz band when we're talking and gets upset when we're talking about plans and stuff. he's acting like a bit of a child. he's been a lot less pushy since getting a girlfriend, but it still annoys the absolute hell out of me. i really hope he just gets a grip because i'm not sure how much i can take. zakk is a nice guy and all, but i'm not gay and he better not be either, because i don't need some random boy to have a crush on me. how would i even handle myself in a situation where a guy asks me out? it's so weird. i would probably just start punching. i've heard that the gays get really offended if you say no to them and they're persistent until you finally agree. i don't need that. it's just weird. i don't hate them. i just don't agree with how they live.