The two that ended with one

The beginning.

Why are you here? Why did you chose this story? Honestly if you asked me, I really couldn't tell you my answer if I even had one. Not that my answer is important to you. This is about your answer. My life isn't as sad as other people but hey, that's life. What's life without sadness? Exactly, I'm max. I would say it's nice to meet you but I would be lying to myself if It was nice to meet you. But you read this far so why not get into it huh? It really all started when I was in 8th grade. I was one of the top students in my class, I never really knew what failure was. I'm never the girl that gets all tensed up about grades or homework, or even the pop quizzes. My friend Carol always said "well your just talented max, most people don't just understand things quite as good as you." I never really took that into consideration until 9th grade. I walked into that classroom with eyes staring at me. I never really understood how shattering those eyes could be. I sat down in the back of the class, "it's better to make sure that no one looks at me from the back" I thought to myself. Little did I know that, that sentence will haunt me forever. Just sitting a row back in one class became sitting in the back in all my classes. I'm not sure how it happened but..halfway through the school year my 5 friends became 1-2 friends. I don't know why but I just can't explain how I lost so many friends, was there something wrong with me? Did I do something wrong? I cant help but think that I was the reason that people keep staring at me...I don't know why I'm like this..I just get all paranoid and sad but mad and I'm not I'm the right state of mind to even talk to anyone and whenever I try to talk my words just don't come out and it's exhausting, my stomach does loop da loops around each other to the point where I can't even see what's in front of me.
"Max."
The therapist said to me as I looked up at her, twirling my thumbs in a different directions
"You have Generalized anxiety disorder"
All I really could remember from that session was the feeling of my heart dropping into what seemed like an ocean, I took a staggered breath as said "well, I'm..I don't know what to say.."
I said knowing what I wanna say in my mind but my mouth didn't know how to tell her how I felt. What I wanted to tell her was that this didn't make any sense. Why does that have to be the reason I get nervous in a classroom, it's not that I don't want to be around people it's just..I don't know what to say in front of people. I tried to tell them "hey how are you?" Or "what's the time?" But when I open my mouth..nothing comes out. Just nothing. I want to tell them that their shirt is nice or hey I need help with this assignment but instead I just sit there and think to myself that if I need there help than I'm a failure. If I'm not able to do this properly then I shouldn't even talk in the first place. I don't understand why I could be this stupid sometimes I wish I could just

Disappear.

644 words

Hey! I'm kiwi :) nice to meet you guys! This is just a story that I've been wanting to write for awhile, sorry that's its a short chapter. I'm not sure if I'm going to finish this, but thanks for reading this!
Till next chapter
See ya!