Starsinger

Ties That Bind

Aaron was sitting alone above the galley atop a stack of crates, mending canvas. From there, he could watch the sailors were working. Zak was in the rigging with Cally, pointing out the lines and quizzing her on the names of each sail. Cook was bent over a bubbling stew, occasionally sneaking juicy morsels to Beau, lumped in a bundle on the counter.

"You need to take a break."

The closeness of the voice surprised Aaron and he jumped, pricking his finger with the needle. He swore and sucked at the wound. Katrina.

"It's cold out here," Raelyn complained. She and Captain Hawkins were standing on the middeck rail, by the sound of it, just above Aaron and completely out of view.

"You've been pouring over that book for days," Katrina replied. "Keep it up and your eyes will go crossed."

"We all have to make sacrifices," Raelyn said vaguely.

"You're royalty, honeybird. Sacrifice is for the little people."

"Quit being trite. It doesn't suit you."

"Everything suits me."

Raelyn snorted. Aaron grinned, easily imagining Katrina's arrogant smirk.

A shout came from above. Aaron glanced up to see Cally swinging from rope to rope like a monkey moving through trees. Zak yelled at her to stop before she fell and broke her godsdamned neck.

Katrina cursed as Cally slowed and once again wrapped both hands and feet in the rigging.

"Kat?" Raelyn asked softly.

"It's nothing," said the captain, but there was an anxiety in her voice Aaron had never heard before.

"Okay," said Raelyn.

Katrina sighed. "You ever thought about having kids?"

"Never felt the urge," Raelyn said drily.

"Not with a fellow, sure. But I'm not talking about making babies, I'm talking about raising them. Plenty of honey couples out there raising adopted kids."

Raelyn coughed. "Family is sort of a fraught subject for someone in my position."

"Ah, right. I suppose it would be. Line of succession and all that."

"Precisely."

There was a long pause. "I never wanted kids," Katrina said. "Not even a little bit. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful some people do – my own mama especially. But the responsibilities... I didn't want any of it. Matty did. He loved kids. The man was a sucker for anything that needed taking care of. Maybe that's why he stuck with me all those years. I sure as shit need taking care of."

"Did you two talk about it?" Raelyn asked quietly.

"Yeah, he knew how I felt. Decided it was worth the sacrifice to stay. Mostly he tried to pretend it didn't matter, but I knew him better than that. Then Cally popped up with her big damn eyes and her love of ships and her baby brother, and I thought there it is, a compromise. Matty can be a parent and I don't have to."

Katrina cleared her throat, suddenly hoarse. "And now he's gone, and there's these kids running around my ship. I know I've got to take care of them, but how? I've built my life on taking what I can get and moving on. That's what I'm good at. I'm not good at growing things.

"Every day, I think about leaving them behind. It'd be so easy. Just pull into port, hand them a bag of silver and wish them all the best. No one would blame me. But Matty would hate me for it, even though they'd probably be better off. I'm about as nurturing as Great Kur himself. Think that old sea monster's got kids?"