Decrepit

Dear High School,

Don't you ever ask me why I'm not involved. Don't ever tell me to smile more. Or to go to the school dance, or the football game. Because I'm sorry if all of that doesn't seem important to me. Don't ask me why I'm always tired, okay? And don't ask me why I'm never in a good mood. Because there's shit going on in my life that your poor ignorant brain wouldn't understand. Okay? To all the teachers who ask me why I'm not paying attention, and slap a test on my desk with a disappointed look, I'm not gonna apologize. Because there's things I'm thinking about during class. Things that follow me when I walk out of my front door. There is whispers and fears that don't end for me when I enter the halls, in fact, they just get worse. I'm sorry that all of this minor shit doesn't matter to me. I wish my only problem had something to do with a boy that doesn't want to talk to me. Because my problems involve a boy that's dying to have a conversation with me again. And trust me, all the girls out there, that pain is much, much worse. I'm sorry that school, and a group of fake friends, and tests, and dances and boys, and taking college classes isn't important to me right now. But I'm just trying to get out of bed and deal with all the questions that are going to remain unanswered. I'm just trying to float through my classes and pretend I don't miss all of the faces I left behind. I'm just trying to come home and forget that there's someone missing.
Don't ever ask me why I'm not involved. Don't ever tell me to learn my way around a neighborhood that, no matter hard I try to convince myself that it is, will never be my home. Because there's shit going on in my head that you wouldn't understand. There's people I have to come home to, and try to fix. To all the teachers, there's not a lot of time to do homework when you're wondering if you're ever gonna see your uncle again, or when you're trying to pretend your father doesn't hate you.
To all the ignorant and rude snakes that are slithering around the halls, looking at me, thinking their better than me, keep your snotty remarks to yourself. There's real shit going on in my life, and if you don't understand it, then leave me alone.