Kai

The beginning

I've always been an empath, that's for sure. Even when I didn't want to be; wanted to cut everyone out and off- even then, I'd still be empathetic. It was a curse mostly, sometimes it was a blessing but- it was pretty hard to see it as such.
Being an empath means feeling and understanding the feelings that people are feeling around you.
You literally feel their pain. When I went to school that day- I didn't know it would change everything. I mean, hell, if I'd known what I do now- I would've ran like hell. It had started like any other day. Waking up for school- kindergarten at that- my mom had made pancakes.
I loved pancakes. The syrupy goodness, butter, love? Nothing beats pancakes. My dad was no where to be seen, he was usually out for most of the month being a truck driver and all. I'd sat at the breakfast bar, blinking sleep out of my eye. Something was different about that day, I couldn't say what but- it was different. "Kai, honey," my mom said gently.
I blinked a few times before looking at her and she smiled softly. She was sweet and always caring for me and Julia. Julia was my cousin, she was away right now at school in her own town. "Where'd you go?" My mom asked and I shook my head, "I'm sorry, mama. I'm tired today."
She chuckled and ruffled my hair playfully before going to the sink and cleaning the dishes.

I was at school now, wait, am I? I was just at home? Huh, weird. Anyways, I was at school. My kindergarten was like any other. You learn to color in lines, count to fifty, learn the months on the calendar, and do government testing. The testing is to see if you have a power. Powers are bad. Only freaks had them, the government was keeping us safe from them.
One girl in my class showed up and sneezed out a whole ice storm! It was scary. So, after she was quarantined and taken away the government decided to test us. "Kai- you ma-
"Get up," the voice jostled me from my dreams. "What?" I muttered drowsily. I rubbed the heels of my hands in my eyes until I saw stars and groaned at the pounding on the door.
"Ok, ok I'm up! Hold your horses," I muttered the last part under my breath and slid to the edge of the bed yawning the last bit of sleep out of me. I took a deep breath before standing and going to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
I groaned at the brightness of the light but washed my face quickly before brushing my teeth and staring into the mirror.
My hair had grown a little longer lately, I was surprised they let me keep it shaggy like this. I'm sure they'll cut it later. It didn't really concern me.
My eyes were a hazel color, nothing too special, and my hair was red. Bright red, too. The fluorescents of the light washed my skin out making the freckles stand out more much to my disappointment.
I blew out a breath in irritation at the freckles and my hair fluttered, I watched it in the mirror before sighing and leaving the bathroom.
Someone's irritated, I thought calmly toward the door before chiding myself for prying. "Kai, are you up?" The voice was calm, but I could sense the barely hidden irritation that was woven into the words.
"Uh- yes?" I said looking down at my jeans half on, one leg through one leg out. "I'm just-" the door opened then. As it did, I yelped before tripping and falling over my own two feet and hitting the ground.
I'd been in the process of putting my pants on and when I'd looked up, my foot caught and- yea. "Honestly, Malachi, when are you going to learn how to put clothes on?" The man before me chuckled and I couldn't help but huff out a chuckle with him. He stood waiting for me to finish and I quietly quietly but quickly dressed. As I did, he studied my art on the wall.
"You've been drawing again?" He asked and actually seemed interested and I couldn't help the smile.
"Yea, actually. They've kind of just been flowing in my brain. So, I figured I'd put them onto paper."
He made a hum of approval before turning to look at me. He was probably in his early forties. His hair was dark, but definitely going grey at the edges and his eyes were a grey color. It was a really light blue but in some light, it was grey. He'd been here with me since the beginning and I trusted him.
"Get dressed, we have another trial for you." With that, he nodded and walked out of the room. I sighed again and put my shoes on, stretching and half-ass combing my fingers through my hair.
After that, I lunged for the door and yanked it open startling the two guards outside. "Sorry Ryan, Cal," I said nodding to them and one chuckled the other didn't.
They were twins, so I sometimes had a hard time telling which was which. They both had black hair, styled in the same short cut, wore the same security uniform, and even had the same- everything. The difference between the two, though, one had a mole on his left cheek, the other didn't.
"Ryan," I say to the one with the mole and he turns to me with an easy smile, "what's the word man?" I asked clapping his shoulder and Cal glared at me until I took my hand off.
"Sorry man, no offense meant," I said holding my hands up in the air and Cal just made a scoffing noise.
Ryan held back while Cal lead and I chuckled as Ryan handed me some candy. "It's sour this time so, fair warning," he said softly before dropping back behind me and I shook my head.
We came round the corner to the lab and I shoved the candy into my mouth without hesitation.
Ryan sucked in his breath while muttering a quiet "not smart, dude."
As soon as the candy touched my tongue, I regretted it, and question all life choices that brought me to this moment. My lips instantly sucked in and my mouth blew up in a sour-filled haze.
"Wh-" I said quietly breathing out trying not to spit or drool. Cal turned and looked at me in annoyance but shoved me forward. As he did, I stumbled and got my footing before falling flat on my ass. The doctor was standing before me, giving me a strange look.
"Malachi, what on earth are you doing?" His tone was calm, perplexed certainly, but calm. He'd seen worse from me so to see me stumbling in drooling, he's basically used to it. Ryan was doing his best to keep a straight face and Cal wasn't even bothering sparing me a glance.
I wiped my mouth and spit the candy out as I did holding it in my hand and smiling at the doctor. "Sorry, I- choked on my spit," it came out as a type of question and Ryan coughed to cover a laugh.
The doctor didn't question it, only nodded. We lived in what seemed like a hotel.
Everything was nice and pristine upstairs with decorative flooring, there were dark wood frame work around the doors and along the floor. It was pretty clean. I enjoyed staying here and I got to help those like me.
I was making a difference to our kind and I was ecstatic to do it. We were no longer tested on, and treated like freaks, this was my job here. I was only eighteen and had been helping them for years.
"Well, just," the doctor spoke unsurely and I chuckled, "won't happen again doc, I swear." He made an understanding motion and guided me to my spot. See I had a gift, mine wasn't a curse, I could find others like me so they could be treated for their abilities.
They wouldn't have to be ostracized by their families anymore, they could live happy, healthy lives. Because of me!
It was a hard job at times, but clearly necessary. We went to a room that was completely enclosed now, there were people in handcuffs sitting across from me. There was a wall of glass between us and I watched as they cowered in fear. Don't cower, I wanted to say, I'm going to help you, come on guys.
One girl looked up and made eye contact. I smiled softly at her to reassure her and she sneered at me. She had red hair like mine only hers was long and thick and curly.
She had freckles across her cheeks like me and when she spoke, I could hear a very thick Scottish accent.
"Whr we 'ere?" She asked and I smiled softly, I opened my mouth to answer her as kindly as possible. To help her relax, but the doctor spoke instead. "You have something in common with these people and the rest outside." The girl looked at him in confusion but he continued, "all of you were reported using powers."
He spoke in a scholarly tone, and I couldn't help but smile fondly as he explained things to them. "Or some of you are believed to have them. Therefore we need to test you and see your ability. If it's a mistake, then you can go if not-" he paused not finishing his sentence and the girl growled at him.
There were others in the room. About twenty or so, they all seemed to be from different walks of life. Some were old and some were young, it wasn't normal to see older people, with powers like this.
"There's quite a few here today sir, isn't it odd to have some that are older? I mean, shouldn't they have-" I pause leaving the sentence open as he had before and he hums in agreement.
"Yes," he mutters to me, "they should have been reported when they were young." His eyes softened as he looked them over.
"We could've helped them sooner but sometimes people don't trust the government." His tone was sad and I nodded in agreement. When I'd been in kindergarten my powers had manifested. I was in class and felt an odd sort of tingling all over my body.
It was itchy, at first, and I'd unintentionally disrupted some of my classmates with my incessant scratching. My teacher noticed and that's when the red flags were raised. My teacher had held me in the class and my parents had been too afraid to come and get me. They'd abandoned me.
The doctor always offered for me to reach out to them but I couldn't, it was too hard. How do you accept the fact that they abandoned you? That you were nothing to them.
I blew out a deep breath, and the doctor nodded to me. As he did, I focused on the others standing before me, they ranged in age and were all different degrees of scared.
As I looked to them, I could see their essence, their very being. I remember it was scary at first, overwhelming even.
The very first time I saw this, I was terrified. The best way I could describe it to the doctor when he asked was 'it's like looking at fruit roll up all over.' Now that I'm older, and some could argue wiser, I'd say without hesitation of a doubt, it's still fruit roll up vision.
Some have described it as a persons aura. It's a bright or dimly lit light that radiates around each person. But it changes for those with powers.
When I see a normal person, their light doesn't really shine that brightly.
It's almost like it's muddied. Sometimes, I'll see flecks of brightness in a dim aura that tells me that this person could develop powers eventually. They're the wild cards that the doctor likes to look for.
The bright auras are people that clearly have powers. Looking at this group, I could see dull colors in all of them.
No one had brightness in their auras. Not even the red haired girl. She sneered at me as I shook my head and she flipped me off.
The doctor nodded and two security grabbed her and ushered her out. The doctor shook his head in disdain and I cracked my knuckles "let's get this goin man, I got all day."

********

"Come on, Ryan!" I said throwing my hands up we were playing poker and he was kicking my ass. He laughed as he took the center pile filled with money- his-, a couple shirts- mine-, and some other things. I groaned as I watched my favorite shirt be taken by him. He was out of uniform now, lying on my bed comfy as ever while I sat on the floor.
I was barefoot and in pajama pants. Files were on the floor scattered around me, but I paid them no mind.
"Maybe if you learn how to actually play, I wouldn't be killing you." He said with a sly smirk on his lips. I rolled my eyes and threw my cards at him to reshuffle the deck.
I stretched and looked at the paperwork around me, "ugh," I say groaning as I hear Ryan shuffling the deck.
Looking around the room you couldn't really tell it was a boys room. I mean- it was a hotel room so... take what you want from that. But, it was so clean- aside from the papers strewn here and there. "What is it," Ryan asked clearly not actually looking up.
His voice was muffled and he sounded preoccupied, I heard the cards shuffle again and went to the mini fridge.
Hmmm, may need to see about getting more snackies in here, oh well. I thought with a shrug and closed the door. Ryan was watching me closely now, and I leaned against the dresser. I didn't have much in there just a couple changes of clothes and some pj pants.
I learned not to be too materialistic after the first year or so here. We'd moved around a lot and I'd lost so much of everything as well as all my things from my parents house. Granted, I was in kindergarten so I couldn't have had that much stuff but. The doctor always tried to get me some things but I wouldn't want or need them so I'd tell him thanks but no thanks.
"Hello?" Ryan said and I jumped at the fact his voice was directly in front of me now instead of on the bed. "Jesus Christ dude," I said shaking my head "warning."
I pushed at him and plopped on the bed throwing the cards this way and that. "I literally got up," he said calmly, "walked over to you and tapped you a few times," he dramatically re enacted his steps, "hell, I called your name, kid, so- spill. What's going on?"
I pursed my lips but took a deep breath to let go of the stress I was feeling. Once I did that, I could feel his emotions coming toward me. "Ah, no! No cheating," Ryan said irritation coloring his words and I laid there silently.
After a moment of silence, I decided to answer him and when I did, I couldn't look at him. I felt like he was going to judge me for the trash I felt like. "It's just," I said sighing, "I don't-I'm just feeling kind of down." He didn't speak just waited for me to finish my thought.
"I thought I'd be able to go out, ya know?" He looked at me incredulously and I threw my arm over my eyes to not look at him. "Not like out out just like- I don't know " I said quickly, "to see your parents?"
His question startled me.
It wasn't loud or cruel or even condescending. It was a genuine question, soft spoken even. When I looked at him, finally, I could see a gentleness in him. Whereas Cal would have sneered at me, and called me name, Ryan sat back and genuinely studied me and understood what wasn't said.
I nodded once and pulled my knees to my chest, trying to comfort myself.
Suddenly, I felt the room closing in on me and it was like I couldn't breathe. My chest ached and I couldn't catch my breath.
I put my cheek on my knees and breathed slowly as my eyes closed. Fuck, I thought miserably, panic attacks have been further apart lately. Why am I having one now?
Once my breathing slowed, I opened my eyes and when I looked up Ryan was gone. "Good talk," I said quietly and felt the pain settle in my chest again.
Slowly, I let me legs down and when I felt I was completely calm, I grabbed the folders in front of me. The first one was that red head girl, I sighed and tossed hers aside before skimming the others and eventually tossing them.
The doctor liked me to make notes of anything I'd seen but there hadn't been anything. Not one thing.
Nothing special about any of them, "nothing special, lucky them," I said quietly. Tonight was gonna be a long night wrestling with myself. Sleep didn't really appeal to me, not like it did to others. For me, sleep was hard.
I didn't want the memories flooding back, or the other thing. That was torture in itself. I heaved myself up from the bed and took the folders to the door and stacked them outside. Cal or Ryan would pick them up and take them to the doctor, and tomorrow the day would start again.
Everyday, same thing.
But by doing this, I was helping people. Staying here was equal parts hell and heaven. At night it felt like hell, I couldn't leave, I couldn't talk to anyone, I couldn't do anything. Except sit with my thoughts.
I took a deep breath and laid back on my bed, closing my eyes and willing sleep to come. After a few hours of tossing, turning, and groaning at the uncomfortableness of it all- I finally felt myself start to drift into unconsciousness.
It felt peaceful at first, like floating on a cloud. I was between sleeping and waking. My breathing slowed and the tension in my body relaxed. I felt the fogginess in my mind and knew I was on the cusp of sleep.
It was peaceful, until it wasn't.