Kai

Chapter 12

The drive to the airport was quick, Jerome barely spoke and the man driving us seemed pleased about that. I sat in the back seat while Jerome sat in the front passenger, barking orders to the driver when needed. Outside was both breathtaking and boring.
I hadn't seen the outside world in thirteen years. Granted, I knew of some things but seeing them- experiencing them.
That was something different. It was also slightly overwhelming. Everything was bright, it was hotter than I ever thought imaginable. Why is it like something is sitting on my chest when I try to breathe in?
Sounds of cars driving, honking, back firing, and just existing were all around. Not to mention the sounds of people talking, walking, ordering food in restaurants as we passed.
There were birds singing, people laughing, and the sound of the radio playing. I closed my eyes against the onslaught of noise and could feel my hands balling into fists.
Trying to tone it all out and focus on something inside me to calm me, I sat there head leaned back, eyes closed, and breathed deeply. I remembered the hug Cal had given me, the encouraging words he'd whispered to me. It helped to ground me slowly and I felt my hands relaxing.
When I opened my eyes, I looked down and saw the crescent indents on the palm of my hands from where my nails had dug in. Guess it's time to get rid of them, I wonder why they're long? I stared at my hands for a moment trying to puzzle it out and as I did, I felt eyes on me.
When I looked up, I saw Jerome had turned in his seat and was watching me with a look of amusement on his face.
His eyes were slight with mirth and his lips quirked into a smirk, it seemed like a natural look to him.
"Something's caught your attention," he laughed. I made a face before moving my hands to my sides and then fidgeting again. They found their way back in my lap and I huffed a sigh of annoyance.
He watched me the whole time, never once moving his eyes from me. I saw the amusement grow and I couldn't help the annoyed face I made.
"I just- it's nothing," I said shortly looking out the window. He didn't seem to really like that answer but didn't pursue it. The cab was silent again and I surprised myself when I spoke. "I can't believe I've been here this whole time. Everything looks-" I paused trying to find the right words.
When nothing came to me, I couldn't help but feel a little stupid. Jerome turned again so he was looking at me as I spoke, "- I don't know, familiar? In a way, but also- not. If that makes sense?"
My eyes met his and I saw a brief look of sadness as it flashed through his eyes. It was quickly replaced by that mirth again, but that didn't stop me from seeing it in the first place.
"Well we'll just have to drive you around at some point. Show you the fun, I think you deserve that before you fully initiate yourself," he dropped a wink and I couldn't help but smile at that.
"We're here, sir." The driver said shortly and Jerome's head turned to the front. He nodded and without another word stepped from the car. My door opened and I quickly made to follow him but as I stepped out, I stopped.
My mouth dropped as I stared at the jet sitting before us waiting, what's it waiting for? Jerome spoke to a few people quietly before ushering me toward the small aircraft.
My feet drug as I stared at it in its entirety. I wanted to see everything around me, not that there was much to see.
When we got on board and settled in, Jerome waved the girl who'd been asking him a question off and sat in silence.
I felt my heart rate pick up and my stomach started to churn. This is a bad idea. I chewed on my lip trying to keep calm but I couldn't help the way my anxiety flared.
I tried breathing and meditating but it wasn't working. When Jerome looked up, he seemed to realize something wasn't right. He went into action quickly and got down to kneel in front of me. "Kai, hey," he said quietly and touched the side of my face.
His hands were like ice but I think I was just sweaty from the adrenaline coursing through me. The jet slowly started to move and I dug my nails into the armrests.
Fear built in my chest and my breathing quickened. His eyes assessed me in an instant and I could see the understanding. "You've never flown, I'm so sorry-" he started but I waved him off.
"I- I'm fine. It's just- I don't like not having control, so this," I waved vaguely to count the cabin. "This is kind of freaking me out . Can we close the shades?" I asked gesturing to the windows.
He nodded and snapped his fingers, in an instant one girl was there pulling all window shades down and I sighed in relief.
"Better?" He asked calmly and I nodded, the jet picked up speed and I heard the loud roaring of the engines and the ground as we rolled across the pavement. It was deafening and I could feel my heart racing.
My breathing spiked and I felt on the verge of passing out, it wasn't until I felt a hand over mine that I peeked out of one eye. I looked at Jerome and he was smiling softly at me. "It's ok," his voice was so soft and comforting, "I'm here. Just focus on me not the plane, ok?" I nodded once and he took my hand and started rubbing soothing circles.
I felt as something cool was laid on the back of my neck, and he spoke calmly.
"You're gonna feel a bit of a stomach dropping sensation as we lift off- see? That's not so bad. Your ears are gonna plug and pop and as we even out," he paused for a moment. I felt the plane as it found its height and evened out and I breathed a sigh of relief.
"There we go, see? That wasn't so bad," he said calmly and I swallowed deeply before I answered him as honestly as I could.
"I do not like this." The sentence was short but firm and he chuckled.
"I should've asked, I'm sorry- though, to be fair, it is the quicker way to travel opposed to driving."
I nodded in understanding and slowly let up my hands from their death grip on the chair. "I'm sorry, I j-" he scoffed and slapped his hand over my mouth before I could finish.
"Don't apologize for the way your brain is. It's who you are," his voice was stern and I felt shock in my gut.
His tone was so firm but kind. No one had ever spoke like that to me. Let alone spoke like that to me.
When he continued, his voice softened, "you haven't been outside in thirteen years. You're going to be shocked and unsure how to handle things like this."
"Just remind me," he said in a whisper before nodding to himself. "Yea, just pull on my shirt sleeve like this," he said and raised his right arm to pull on it gently with his other hand.
"Seems kind of dumb, but it's the easiest way. That," he paused seemingly thinking something over and chewing on his lip. He must've come to a decision though, because he nodded once and continued gracefully.
"Or, just sk- touch my wrist. I'll know," he smiled at me and I nodded. He seemed so earnest and genuinely like he wanted to help me that I found myself instantly trusting him.
He leaned back before standing and stretching deeply. His hands were above his head and he yawned deeply. but when he sat in the chair across from me, he looked wide awake.
"First things first," he said with a coy smile, "I need you to tell me everything you had heard from Cal and Court."
My stomach dropped slightly at that and I chewed my lip. My gaze dropped and I could sense his questioning gaze. His emotions were well kept, not exploding out in anger, curiosity, or agitation. Just there, but contained. It was strangely nice how much of a hold he had on his emotions.
I found myself thinking of the conversation I'd had with Michaela and Cal. They'd both said not to let my guard down with Jerome. I wanted to trust them. After all, Cal had been the one looking after me all this time. But Jerome was so helpful with me.
It was confusing and frustrating. I wanted to just tell everyone to get along and be happy but I knew I couldn't. "Kai," Jerome saying my name had me jumping in my seat. He hadn't yelled or been aggressive either. It was just a simple almost prayer of my name.
When my eyes shot to his, I could see patience in his eyes. He wasn't annoyed, he was just making sure I was still with him. I smiled awkwardly at him and he nodded for me to continue whenever I was ready.
Taking a deep breath, I forced the words quickly from my mouth. Sooner it's out, sooner it's done. No more middle man decisions.
Taking a deep, calming breath and drinking the water the woman on board had brought me, I started talking.
It was quick and the words rushed but he seemed to follow along anyways. "I felt something off about them so I followed, Cal and Court were talking."
I paused trying to remember what exactly had been said, I'm so exhausted- surely he'll understand if I'm a little slow to remember. Jerome's emotions were flowing smoothly from him and they were calming.
He's not bad, how can he be? He's so patient waiting for me. "Cal seemed to be annoyed with Court," I said slowly piecing things together. "She seemed to think he was being too trusting- I think."
Jerome nodded at that but didn't speak, he watched me calmly waiting for me to continue. "After that, Cal said he trusts no one, he told her to keep her eyes open and trust only her friend." Jerome frowned at that, he looked truly troubled, he watched me before speaking.
"That's- interesting. I don't like that those two are coming together." His voice was low, as if he were talking to himself.
"Nothing we can do now," he said with a shrug and smiled at me, "do you think you can handle this?" I looked at him in confusion and felt as though I were under a microscope. He was sizing me up, looking me up and down and I felt something grow in me.
I wanted to please him, I had to please him. I took a deep breath, "I can do this. I don't know what all it entails, but- I want to," I said the end quietly and felt so small. He chuckled at that though.
"Good boy," he said and I felt something in me soar that that. "I just need you to work on being a little more firm." His voice was casual but I could feel the command in the undertone that was there.
"Cal was the muscle for me, he helped people see the light. Can you do that?" I pursed my lips in thought, can I do this? I thought to myself, there was fear bubbling in my stomach now and I felt like I could feel everything in my body more. I could hear things more, my hearing was heightened, my sense of touch was heightened. I was on the verge of a panic attack.
When my breathing quickened, I felt a hand on my shoulder and when I looked up, I saw he had moved to kneel before me again.
"Kai, you can do this. You can be strong. You can be firm. I believe in you," I felt as everything quieted and nothing but his face and the care and warmth in his eyes mattered.
I held his gaze and felt as his hand moved to the side of my neck and stayed for a moment. "I can do this," I spoke quietly. His hand stayed there for a moment longer and he smiled, seemingly appeased.
"Good. I knew you'd be ok, I knew you could do this. Now get some rest. We'll be in the air for some time." I nodded uncertainly and he leaned back before standing and sitting in his seat once more. I watched him for a moment as he spoke with the flight attendant before my eyes began to get heavy.

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