Tied to a Cervantes

Chapter 27

Abrianna's POV

His jaw dropped, totally not expecting what I just said. Confusion was also vividly written on his face. He opened his mouth but closed them again. I squeezed his cold hands. "This is the space that I want, Cervantes." I intently looked into his confused eyes, making sure he won't miss the next word I'm gonna utter. "I want our marriage void."

He dryly chuckled. His hands slowly slipped from my grip and unconsciously, he frustratingly wiped his face. He searched for my eyes and it rendered me weak when I saw how confused and pained he was. "W-why?" It was just a single word but it felt so heavy.. and painful.

"Is this about yesterday?" He weakly asked and I quickly shook my head in disagreement. I reached out his hands, they were cold still, and held them again tightly. I wanted to tell him that this isn't just about yesterday but when I heard him cussed that's when I realized how messed up we really are.

"Dammit." His eyes were glued on our holding hands and none of us is wearing his/her wedding ring.

I weakly smiled. Yeah, Cervantes. We're totally in a damn situation. You and I, both with empty ring fingers yet married. I bit my inner cheek, and inhaled gently, trying to calm my still loud beating heart because this is just so damn complicated and exhausting.

"I'm sorry." Mabilis akong tumingin sa kanya dahil doon ngunit halos malunod ako sa lalim ng tingin na sumalubong sa akin. It was pleading, in pain, in sadness, regret, confusion, and doubt. Kinabahan ako dahil sa mga emosyong nakikita ko sa mga mata niya ngayon. For a moment, I wanted to take back my words. The guilt I disregarded earlier came creeping inside me. I'm hurting him. "I'm sorry love.." He apologized once more and squeezed my hand. I wanted to stop him because there's no reason to apologize but when he lifted both our hands, I was stunned and speechless with what he did next.

"Cervantes.." My eyes widen and I felt my heart beating erratically fast.

He just kissed both our hands.

He found my eyes again and I never felt so nervous and muted my entire life just now. His eyes were lost and pleading. "Please don't... not this one love.. please."

I didn't know my heart could beat even louder and faster. I can also hear my heavy breathing including the unusual pumping of that specific organ on my left chest. His head was now resting on our intertwined hands and I can hear his heavy breathing as well as his soft numerous whispers of "please" and "don't".

I was starting to feel anxious as hell. Hindi ko na mapigiling mapalunok dahil sa mga naghalo-halong emosyong nararamdaman ko ngayon. Confusion. Doubt. Pain. Sadness. Guilt. I don't know what to do anymore. "Cervantes.." I called him but it was almost a whisper. I thought it would be easy to ask him this but I was wrong. Ang hirap pala. His reaction was making me weak. I didn't know he would be this affected, hurt and sad. And it hurts to think that I am responsible behind it.

I tried to lift his head and made him look at me but he just shook his head. "Luke.. come on." I'm scaring him and that hurts.

"No, love.. please." He held tightly on my hands.

"Just look at me.."

"I can't.."

I breathed out loud, lost at what to do next. "Come one Luke.. please.." Please..

"Love please.. don't...I can't.. I.. " His voice was trembling. He was having a hard time but what he said next caused another havoc inside me.

"I.. I don't wanna lose you. I can't."

Shit.

My eyes welled up so I looked up and blinked numerous times. Why would he say that? I even had to swallow the lump on my throat before I could speak straight. "You are making this hard." I tried to remove my hands from his grip but he won't let go. Napakagat ako sa aking labi. "Come on, Cervantes." Please. I'm near to breaking down already.