Tied to a Cervantes

Chapter 38

Abrianna

Forgive and forget they say. Forgive those who wronged you to free yourself from pain and forget what they did so that nothing can tangle you from the past. But do we really have to forgive, most especially forget what they did? Of course, some would say yes, for the sake of our peace of mind. But isn't it cruel how those who were hurt were advised to release forgiveness just so they could heal themselves from the pain others caused them? Sila na nga ang nasaktan sila pa ang gagawa ng paraan para maghilom ang sugat nila. When you're in pain it's hard to release forgiveness. How much more to forget what they did.

"Why don't we skip with the pleasantries and go straight to the point, father?" I made sure I hid my raging emotions with a sound of discourtesy.

A flicker of sadness quickly flashed in his eyes like a lightning bolt and I refused to assume that my statement was the reason behind it. He cleared his throat once more, and uncomfortably shifted on his seat like he was struggling to strike a conversation. Kita ko rin kung paano niya sinubukang kalmahin ang sarili niya, at pilit sinusubukang maging matatag sa harap ko.

Pasimple na lang akong umiwas ng tingin, hindi gugustuhing magpadala sa hindi inaasahang pagkalat ng guilt sa loob ko.

"I.." His voice slightly trembled that he has to clear his throat once again. "I just wanted to say thank you for the wine, princess."

He tried to lock our gazes but I refused. Hindi ko kaya.

"No need for that actually."

Tumango siya, at dahan-dahang umayos nang upo. "Is Luke treating you well?"

My eyebrows immediately shot up, unpleased with his sudden intrusion. Funny how he could find such courage to throw such question. If by chance the situation was reversed and Cervantes was actually a dickhead, then I would have already shouted at him for his unmatched guts and insensitivity. He should be thankful that Cervantes has turned out to be good man. Oh, did I just admit that Cervantes is indeed a good man? Tsk.

Sensing my death glares because of distaste for his questions, I thought he would submit and withdraw but the guts he really has that he responded with a similar raised eyebrow!

This is one of those moments that I really hate his blood running in mine. Mas lalo tuloy sumama ang tingin ko sa kanya.

"I don't see a single reason to share the happenings of my life with you, so if you have nothing more to say, I suggest you see yourself out."

We both stared at each other, and while looking at him that moment, how I wanted to get myself away from all of this anger, pain, betrayal, sadness, and disappointed all at once, but I just couldn't. I wanted to tell myself that everything will be over soon and will be okay but it just won't come out because I couldn't feel it that way. It's just so hard. That kind of feeling where you thought you're getting yourself healed but just one reminder of what happened and your efforts just went out of the window. You're back to square one again.

Father quickly left after that. I didn't see him out like I said, but I just watched as the cars leave our premises.

Huminga ako ng malalim nang maramdaman ang init sa aking likod kasabay ng pagpulupot ng dalawang braso sa aking baywang. He pulled me closer and made me lean against his hard chest. I didn't have to look back to know who it was.

"I'm home." Just like what he promised, he really came home early. Hindi pa man lumulubog ang araw ay nandito na siya. He planted a chaste kiss on my temple. It felt soft and gentle, so opposite with his strong arms wrapped around me.

I was contemplating whether I should inform him of father's sudden visit or not. Does this concern him anyway? Does it matter to him? Do I need to tell him? Those were just a few questions running in my head. In the end, I chose to tell him.