My Sad Room Mate-Destiel

Chapter Three

Dean arrived back home late that night. Castiel was up, staring at his ceiling, as he would most nights. He would never admit it, but he was beginning to worry about where Dean may be. Classes started tomorrow and he was out this late? Castiel glanced to his side and read 1:28 am. "Where the hell was he?" Castiel wondered. Only one way to find out.

Castiel hesitated before climbing out of bed. He was just going to get a drink, he hadn't even noticed Dean come in the door, he had been sleeping - that was his plan. But Castiel froze in his steps as soon as he reached the end of the hallway.

Dean was leaned against the counter, waiting on a cup of coffee, wiping tears from his eyes. He hated who he was, what he had become. He drowned his sorrows in some girl, he didn't even remember her name. He promised himself change. He wasn't a harmonal boy in highschool anymore. But Dean hadn't changed a bit, and neither had his hate for himself.

It felt like hours to Castiel until Dean noticed him. He was still frozen, hating the dullness in Deans eyes, those beautiful eyes, a dullness he never wished to see again.

Dean shifted awkwardly when he noticed Castiel in the archway. How could he explain himself? "Ah - 'Sup Cas? What are you up this late for? Classes are tomorrow and everything-"

"What happened, Dean?" This was the first time Castiel had spoken up. Dean sensed seriousness in his voice, as if he actually cared. But what could he say? He couldnt lie to the kid - I mean, he could, but he didn't want to.

"I asked you first, buddy. Whats up?" Avoid answering. Avoid answering.

Castiel didn't want to lie just as much as Dean didn't. But we dont always do what we think is right.

"I just woke up, I wanted a drink. I didn't even notice you were home, you startled me." Castiel lied. He hated lying.

"I can see that, you haven't moved. Looks like you saw a ghost" Dean chuckled. Laughing off his pain, it could work. Would it? Just in case, Dean cut Castiel off before he could say anything. "Want a coffee? Im thinking an allnighter. Its always fun to start school off half dead." He laughed to himself, then turned around to pour himself the coffee, which had just beeped signalling its finish.

"I- yeah. I'll take one," Castiel finally moved from his spot and joined Dean in the kitchen.

No words were exchanged for a while. They both sipped, hoping the awkward encounter would pass over. Dean didn't want to admit something was wrong, and Castiel didn't want to bother him by asking. Although he wanted to know what in the world could bring such bright eyes down to the dullness and cold of winter. He wanted to make sure it would never happen again.

"Dean, I really hate to be a bother-"

"You'd never bother me Cas," he started, "too quiet, like really quiet. You dont say much. How could you bother me?"

"Dean, what was wrong, before? You looked upset, and you came home late. And I- I dont know. I - was worried — I guess? And-"

"Cas, I get it, but I'm not really up to talking about it, if you dont mind." Dean finally admitted.

Castiel realized he had made a fool of himself, and Dean would probably never want to talk to him again, and oh god - he messed up. "Yeah, it's fine. I wont pressure you into anything. N-not that theres anything I would need to pressure you into. I- I just need sleep." Castiel put down his cup and ran back into his room. Another night of staring at the ceiling, especially now that there was caffine in his system.

Dean couldnt help but notice the shaking of Cas's hands as he put down the cup and practically ran away. Thinking more into it, he was always like that. Always shaky with his words as well. Cas was to mysterious in Dean's eyes. At first he just wanted a casual relationship with the kid. But, the calmness Castiel gave him, by just standing next to him, sipping a cup of coffee, made Dean realize he needed more than that. Castiel has potential to become Dean's new best friend. Problem being, Castiel was a complete mystery to him. Everything about him was weird, but Dean wanted to figure him out.

Castiel stared at his ceiling. Not a surprise, really. He felt his eyes burning. He was trying not to cry. He was so embarassed. He has to live with Dean, he has to see him every day, and now he had made everything so awkward. Little did Castiel know, Dean didn't even pick up on what Castiel had accidently laid down.

It felt like hours until there was a slight knock on the door. "Hey-a Cas, you awake?"

Castiel didn't know what to say. Dean knew he was awake, it had only been minutes, though it felt like hours. But he didn't want to once again face the embarrassment he had just felt. He mumbled a "Hmm?", hoping that was good enough.

"I just wanted to say goodnight," Dean called from outside the door, "you kinda - ran away." Dean chuckled a bit over his words.

"G'night" Castiel mumbled.

Dean bit his lip and walked off before he could say anything else. The rest of the things on his mind could wait for another night. He laid in his own bed, staring at his own ceiling. All he could think about was today, and how he'd eventually tell Castiel. He figured, if he wanted to figure Cas out, Cas would have to know about him as well. That is, if Castiel would accept his friendship.. If that made sense.

Nothing Dean did made sense to him. Nothing he felt made sense. He hated it. But, theres always the good in everything.