Choosing Between My Boyfriend and that Other Guy

Chapter 2

I pull away, and from the utter silence except for the blaring music, I know that Matt had seen.  I look up into the eyes of the guy holding me to him.  I can see the shock register on his gorgeous face before he quickly gains composure.  I am about to speak when I feel someone grab my shoulder and pull me back.  I turn around just in time to see Matt punch whatever-his-name-is, his eyes burning with hatred.

“What the hell man that was my girlfriend!” 

“You might want to think twice about that because SHE kissed ME.” he replies, looking ready to fight back if Matt comes at him again.  But he doesn’t.  From the look in his eyes, I can see that he had already known it was my fault.  He just didn’t want to believe it.

I had expected Matt to yell at me, or just stare at me with some sad face that would have undoubtably broken my heart.  To say I was surprised was an understatement.  I am the one who acts without thinking and pushes him to break the rules.  He was always so kind hearted and put others before himself without a second thought. 

Turning to look at me, he shoots me a look which says more than any words ever could.  I can tell that I hurt him, so I start to apologize.  That is, until I remember what led up to that.  “Feels like shit doesn’t it?” I ask. 

“Alex, I’m so sorry” he tells me, and I can tell he means it.  Matt is a true gentleman and honestly this whole thing is so unlike him.  That is part of the reason I love him, because I never had to question his loyalty and dedication to me.  

“I know” I tell him, feeling the sadness that I had replaced with anger start to creep back in.  I want to apologize too, but I can’t.  Neither of us can take back what we did and no amount of excuses can lessen the hurt we both feel.  Our whole relationship was based on a trust that had just been broken.  

“Let me explain” he begs, but I shake my head.  I don’t want to know, I don’t think anyone ever does.  I look over to everyone staring at us like we were some sort of soap opera.  

“Get back to your own sad lives” I tell them, glaring and then walk away.  

It isn’t hard to find Hannah.  Undoubtably when she heard the fight, she had fought her way to the front to make sure I was ok.  She smiles sadly, and holds her hand out to me.  I take it and we walk out of the house and to her BMW.  Pulling the keys out of her purse, she throws them in the air intending to catch them.  When they fall to the floor four feet behind her, I remember that while my fight with Matt had sobered me up quite a bit, the same probably wasn’t true for her.  “I’m driving” I tell her.  She nods and stumbles over to the other side of the car.  I pick the keys up off the floor, start the engine and we drive to my house without a word.   

There is one main reason I hate moving between houses.  Packing sucks. The whole thing about only taking what you really need never works for me.  I can imagine plenty of scenarios where I need everything I own.  And its sad when you realize everything important can fit in a bag or two.  

As my mom and I pull out of the driveway, I slouch into the seat and put my headphones on.  Looking through my songs, I choose one that fits my mood and listen to it, louder than I probably should.  I try and let my mind wander, but it is almost impossible to not think about Matt.  

Eventually I dose off, and when I wake up I know we’re close.  I have been to my dad’s a few times but it is always for only a weekend or a week at the most.  I have never really had much of a chance or an inclination to leave the house when I visit.  But this time I’m staying for two weeks because my mom is going on some trip for work or whatever.  I decide it would be smart to get an idea of where everything is since there is no possible way I am staying home all day for that long.  

We pull in front of my dad’s apartment and I get out, grabbing my stuff.  As soon as the car door is closed, my mom drives away not wanting to stay a second longer than necessary.  I walk up to the door and ring the doorbell since I don’t have  a key.  

“Hey there Lex” my dad says, opening the door.  He pulls me into a hug while I just stand there, not really able to move because of all of the stuff in my arms.  Finally noticing all of the stuff in my hands, he grabs one of my bags and starts to walk up the stairs to my room.  “How have you been?” 

“Fine” I answer, but not wanting to be too rude, I add “I missed you.”  

“I missed you too.  Its so quiet without you and ” he stops mid-sentence.  Even though my parents have been divorced for a while, things haven’t really settled down.  It’s still awkward and upsetting when the other parent gets mentioned.  Thankfully we reach my room quickly and I can change to subject.  

“Yea just put my bag on the floor” I tell him, pointing to a spot against the wall.  Since I never stay very long, I don’t really see the point in unpacking.  

“I made dinner” he offers, “well actually I ordered pizza” 

“Its cool I’m not really hungry, I’m just going to go to sleep.” I tell him, although I don’t feel tired whatsoever.  

“Oh ok.  Well I’m going to work early tomorrow so I’ll see you tomorrow night I guess”

“Yea alright” I say before turning away and pretending to start unpacking.  When I hear the door close behind me, I stand up, leaving everything where it is and walk over to my bed.  I lie down and put my headphones back in, eventually falling asleep.