One Night changes Everything

Chapter Twenty Three

"Sa loob ng tatlong taon you never told him that you love him?" Angela asked.

Umiling ako.

"What the hell?" Louella said.

"I don't know what I really feel"

"Sa tatlong taon hanggang ngayon hindi mo pa rin alam?" Laren asked.

I bit my lower lip, three years of marriage and here I am still contemplating of how I truly feel for my husband.

"I feel bad for your husband" Jerome said.

"Well, I feel terrible for my husband, he's been keeping up with me without the assurance if I love him, too"

"Mahal na mahal ka ni Sebastian, if you want us to point it out" Joanne said.

"I know, I know very well"

Sinabunutan ko ang sarili ko, birthday niya ngayon, my friends told me that the best gift would be if I tell him I love him, too, but here I am telling them I'm not sure.

He's been nothing but good to me, patient with me and he never pressured me.

We had a fine dinner with our families and friends.

"Kailan ba ang sa inyo, Sebastian? Nakakadalawa na si Serverous, naunahan ka na rin ni Seville" Kaito said, his cousin.

Hinampas naman ito ni Shane, his wife.

"Ikaw talaga, tigilan mo nga" saway niya rito.

"I'm just asking, baby"

Umiling ito.

"I'm sorry about him, Ally"

"A-Ayos lang"

"I don't know yet, but eventually..." Sebastian trailed off.

Iniwan ko muna siya sa mga kapatid at pinsan niya, I sighed heavily when I was finally alone, hinilamos ko ang palad ko sa aking mukha, my bangs fell.

"Hindi ko na alam"

I was frustrated with myself, I was scared, yes, takot akong baka hindi totoo ito, I have witnessed failed marriages, una na roon ang sa mga magulang ko and then with my patients' family situations, then his clients, and others.

"Hey, sweetheart"

Nag-angat ako ng tingin, Sebastian looking worried at me.

I reached for him and buried my face on his chest, I hugged him tight.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm confused, so confused"

"Of what, sweetheart?"

"Of what I feel for you, confuse and scared"

Natahimik siya, marahan niyang hinaplos ang aking buhok.

"I'm not rushing you, or pressuring you"

Lumayo ako sa kanya, I looked at him, he looked worried.

"Hindi nga, pero tangina, lahat sila..." I said so desparately and stressed.

My eyes watered because of my overwhelming emotions, I feel like I'm breaking down because of what's happening to me.

"Sweetheart..." he tried to reach for me.

"Lahat sila gustong-gustong malaman kung hanggang kailan ako hindi makakaamin ng nararamdaman ko, na ang unfair sa part mo na hindi ko masabi"

Kahit anong pigil ko, umiyak pa rin ako.

"Sinusubukan ko naman eh, sinusubukan kong alamin kung anong nararamdaman ko, believe me, I'm trying so hard to know what i feel for you, at kahit ako ayoko ring maging unfair sa'yo, pero ayoko rin namang hindi maging sigurado sa nararamdaman because its still unfair for you"