The Babbling Blonde Boy

No Excuses

                      - Shinso's POV-

Throughout the next week Denki avoids me, my frutration and anger with myself steadily grows but what hurts most is that he isn't here. During classes, lunch, and after school I have rare chances to see him. Kirishima, Mina and the others still talk to me but theres awkward tension, I dont blame them though because they are in an awkward spot.

After dinner I'm able to catch Denki's eye and it's like he see's right through me as if I'm not there. He looks tired but and seems quiter than he usaully is and I know the pain he hides is my fault. I walk to him, but he turns his head and starts talking to Midoriya who sits next to him. Rejection bolts through me but I persist, when I'm standing in front him he finally ackowledges me. He looks up at me with those golden eyes I love, looks me up and down, then turns away.

I close my eyes and take a moment and when I open them the words rush out of me, "Can I speak to you Denki?"

All he does is sit there and mutter, "Kaminari."

I lean in a bit closer to hear his next words, "Huh?"

He glances back at me and says, "My name is Kaminari, call me that."

I stare at him and nod solmnly, "Ok, but please, we need to talk."

He turns to look to Midoriya for encourgmnet, thats what I used to do. "Yeah, ok." Denki stands and follows my lead to the hallway where we stop. Denki, I mean Kamiari looks ready to bolt away and as I step closer he flinches, so I take a step back again. Every moment I spend with him the guilt closes in, threatening to suffocate me.

Sighing I put my hands in my pockets so he can't see how shaken I am, "Kaminari, I'm so sorry, I know I've told you that a million times, i'll do anything to prove it to you. There are no excuses for what I said. For what I did."

Kaminari only watches me, I try my best to school my expression but I can tell my pain seeps through, "Please, I hate being without you, there is so much-"

"Stop." Caught off gaurd, Kaminari takes the silence to continue, "Just stop. Anger often brings out -fuck- the truth, so quite pretending. I just wish you had told me that you were unhappy with me in a diffrent way."

Fuck. Ok.

I shake my head violently, "You have to believe me, this is not what I wanted, I can explain."

Kaminari's reply comes quickly, his annoyance clear, "I thought you wouldn't make excuses."

I try to reach for him but he brushes my hand away and turns, his footsteps echo in my ears and its only after a minute do I realize that I am silently crying. Before anyone see's me like this I wipe away the tears.

I try every chance I get to speak with Kaminari, to fix everything but he relents, keeping as far away as he possibly can. So, I talk to my dad, he tells me how him and Mic had a point where they couldn't speak to eachother, they seperated after their friend died and it was hard for them to get back what they had, it took time but they were able to heal and start again. This reassures me a bit but so many days alone have showed me just how much I hurt him. And how much I truly love him.