The Babbling Blonde Boy

Questioning

                    - Shinso's POV -

I lay in bed, spread like a starfish, ready to go to sleep but I can't get the image of Kaminari out of my mind. Or the way I want to kiss him. And hold him. And all these thoughts that I shouldn't be thinking. I'm straight. I don't like boys. My hand clutch the grey sheets underneath me and I snuggle my face into a pillow

Well... as I start to think about it I realize I've never dated a girl and the ones that I thought I had a crush on make my feel strongly more of a want of friendship. I never thought of them the way I think about Kaminari, or the way I feel about him. Fuck.

What is wrong with me? Dread fills me as I think, why am I like this? My heart runs faster than it ever has. I feel like I'm going to blow up and anxiety fills me, making me feel like I'm drowning. My breath comes out ragged and I feel to hot. I curl into myself. I mean it can't be that weird, right? Denki is bisexual, being gay isn't that big of a deal, right?

I overthink everything, how everyone I know will react. God, what if dad disowns me or sends me back to the orphanage. I've heard of that happening when kids come out to their parents. I sure as hell can't keep this a secret so what the Fuck am I going to do.

I know Kaminari will be here for me, but who else will. Shit. Why can't I be normal?

I spiral quickly as the sun's glow starts to fill the day. Great, no sleep and I figure out I'm gay. And today is Tuesday. Fuck.

                        (Time skip)

Through out the day my mind can't focus on anything, and I just need a nap. Dad seems to notice this but doesn't say anything, but I wish he would dismiss me to go sleep.

Along with that I can't seem to pull my eyes away from Kaminari, who sits besides me, twitching, cursing and doing the neck tic and couple of times throughout class. Exhaustion and longing overtake me before it's even lunch and I fall into a fit full sleep during third period. Thankfully no one mentions it to dad and he is probably sympathetic to me since he's also always exhausted.

I drift off but at some point a pair of strong hands shake me awake, "Bud, you need to get up." It's dad.

My eyes are blurry when I look up at him and yawn, "Sorry. I figured out something last night and... it took a lot out of me."

He simply nods, "I'll give you the rest of the day off today, but you need to be ready for school tomorrow. And whatever you figured out, if you need anything, I'm always here."

I smile before clumsily grabbing my stuff and heading to my dorm where I collapse on the bed, still in my school clothes, and fall asleep.