For You, Sabe [Part 1]

♯ 83

TW: physical abuse

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Isabella Sanchez
1:30 am

I'm home already

low

Hi, Sabe : )

lamats

Hm?

thank u sabeh puta

Hahaha, you're welcome
Do you feel better na?

oo, naabala ka pa
thnx sa ice cream
san ka nakahanap ng mint chocolate ice cream ??

There was an ice cream parlor near by
I told them to make it

huh
'yung malapit sa condo ?
eh wala naman silang tinda na mint choco

Yea, that's why I told them to make it
Paid extra for it

???
ok ka langg ba wtf
bakit nagbayad ka pa ng extra

Because I had to make you feel better
You trust me enough to listen kanina so I knew I had to do something for you
And I want to do something for you

daming sinabi

Hahaha, as long as you feel better now

dahil sa mama ko

Huh?

the attack
it was triggered by my mom

Isabella, you don't have to tell me if you're not ready

sinasabi ko na nga diba
makinig ka na lang, daming dada eh

Okay

my mama and papa used to have loads of fight, i grew up with them fighting
before they had me, mom had an affair
so may kuya xian and ate xana ako from my mama
pero tanga 'yung tatay ko kaya binalikan nanay ko
and then me, i happened
sana hindi na lang puta

Don't say that, you're one of the best people I know
And if it weren't for you, my life would've been..
Well, my life wouldn't have a heart

korni mo gago
anyway
their fights gradually became physical
si mama, she would hit papa
minsan, nagbabasag pa ng mga plato and there are times na natatamaan din ako
i was 7

Isabella..
I'm sorry, I didn't know

alam ko, sila hana lang may alam
papa probably had enough of it so he left
he left me too, kay mama, to the person who's capable of hurting basically anyone siguro
pero i can't blame papa, naiintindihan ko kasi nadadamay lang naman ako pero gusto ko na ring umalis
paano pa siya na sinasaktan talaga ni mama diba
kaya i understand

But still, none of you deserved it

mama became more impatient and irritable when papa left
treated me like an object she owns, controlled every single thing in my life and made me do shit i didnt want to do
made me go to parties with her and when she gets drunk, i had to take care of her
made me go shopping with her, made me go out with her friends' sons when i got older
ewan ko pero mama treats parenting as ownership ata HDSJAHDAHHAHA
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and when i say no to something, i'd eventually get hit too

Is that why you didn't even flinch when you got an open wound?

oo
nakakatawa nga kasi sabi nila nagfflinch daw ang may trauma sa mapanakit na tao
pero ako, sobrang sanay na ko that i dont even flinch anymore
parang that's a different kind of trauma na HDASHDHAAHHAHAA
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so ayun, that's the reason why i live alone sa condo
i ran away from mama the moment i turned 18, the condo was given by my papa when i was 16
i dont want to be owned by anyone anymore
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sorry, sobrang drama HDSAJHDHAHDAH
putangina ok anyway
moving on

Isabella, this is the only time you said sorry and you didn't even have to
Thank you for trusting me enough to talk about your past
I am always willing to listen, even if I don't know what to say
Andito lang ako, palagi

ano ka therapist

Just a mere listener : )
Your personal rant absorber

yoko
baka may ibang nagrarant sayo

I'm all yours, Isabella
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