Under My Umbrella

Chapter Twelve

The problem with making decisions is that you're kind of obliged to stick to them. Not tiny things like choosing what shoes to wear, the things that don't affect anybody else. But when you say you're booking a flight home, it's pretty important that you do it.

I don't tell Shane when he calls that evening and asks if I want to go grab something to eat with him. And I've got to be honest- I did consider leaving without telling him. But that wouldn't be fair, would it?

So I agree to meet him later, already armed with planned responses to everything he's going to say.

Of course he's going to try talking me out of it. He's going to say that we haven't tried yet. Maybe he's even got some new idea to suggest. But then I'll tell him about Rob's visit and how this scheme of ours was always destined to fail like it was bloody fate.

I'll tell him that I no longer have a life here and I need to take back control of the one I left behind in California.

And I don't think he'll understand but surely it's better than leaving with no explanation.

We meet at Buona Sera, an Italian restaurant on the high street. Shane looks reasonably smart for once in a deep blue short-sleeved shirt and black chinos. His hair is still as messy as ever, but at least the little old ladies in the restaurant aren't going to be clinging to their handbags in fear of him.

He stands up to greet me as I approach the table for two tucked away at the back of the restaurant.

"This isn't going to be like that scene in Lady and the Tramp, is it?" I eye the plate of meatballs a passing waiter is holding.

Shane laughs. "Not if you don't want it to be."

I take a seat, shrugging my jacket off and running over the lines I have prepared in my head.

Should I wait until we've ordered to say anything? Or maybe after we've eaten?

Either way, when the waiter scribbles down our orders and takes our leather-bound menus away, I don't speak up.

I reach for my glass of sparkling wine and try to calm my nerves.

What the hell's wrong with me? I do not get nervous. I get edgy about the unpredictable. Maybe that's the trouble. It doesn't matter how much I've planned this in my head, I can't be sure what Shane's going to say.

"You okay?" Shane tops up my wine glass. "You seem a little on edge."

Oh Christ, I can't even hide it from him.

"Fine." I smile and sip my wine.

By the time the food arrives, I still haven't said anything. In fact, I'm considering my original disappearing act idea.

But I can't just run away again. That's what I did with Carter and my dad. I ran away to come here and fix Rob's life. And I couldn't even do that.

"Okay." Shane drops his knife and fork and looks across at me. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

This is my chance. I reach for the wine glass again. "I'm going home."

"Home?" Shane frowns. "Do you want me to walk you?"

"I spoke to my dad. I'm booking a flight."

He drops his napkin onto the table. "Let's not talk about this now. I'll go pay and call a taxi back to my place."

We don't speak again until the taxi arrives. And even then it's only to discuss who's sitting where. He picks the front seat while I climb into the back and go over my prepared responses again.

What will Shane say?

You can't go because...

The wedding is still going ahead.We haven't tried [insert plan here] yet.I can't do it alone.

All of those can be answered if I tell him about what happened with Rob.

Then there are the more awkward things he might say. Things that aren't so black and white.

What about your mum?Don't leave because I'm falling in love with you.

What? Where the hell did that last one come from? Of course he's not going to say anything like that. And I don't want him to.

I dismiss it from my thoughts as the taxi pulls up outside his hotel. Shane pays the driver and I silently follow him inside. Back in his room, he sits on the end of the bed and sighs.

I hover in the doorway, unsure what to say. In my head, he'd already begged me to stay by now. Well, maybe not begged exactly, but he should have at least said something I can assign one of my prepared responses to.

"Shane?" I prompt.

He lifts his head to look at me. "Why now?"

"I have to go, Shane. This whole thing is bloody ridiculous. You said that yourself."

"But it's always going to be a little bit crazy. Why leave now?"

I swallow, my fingers running up and down my necklace. "Rob came to see me."

His eyes widen. "When?"

"Earlier today. I asked him if he's really sure about Claire."

"You what? I thought you'd agreed we stick to the plan!"

"Him turning up was not part of the plan! What was I supposed to do, throw myself at him again?"

He averts his gaze from mine. "I don't know. Maybe it would have worked."

"It wouldn't. He's marrying your sister."

Shane sighs, his head dropped and his hands resting on his knees. "We can't give up now."

"I'm sorry." My fingers touch the tiny china teacup dangling from my necklace. "I came here because I had to stop Rob from making a mistake. But he doesn't want me to stop him. Maybe you were right. You can't control everything."

"Like fate?"

I smile. "Yeah, like fate."

Shane slides off the bed and walks towards me, an unreadable look on his face. When he stops right in front of me, I think he must have come up with another excuse for me to stay.

I open my mouth, ready to protest, but he pushes me against the wall and crushes my open mouth with his.

The kiss is rough and fierce and passionate but sweet and smooth at the same time and it ends much too quickly.

He pulls away and looks at me. "I have a key for Claire's house. Why don't we go there tomorrow and see if we can find anything out?"

Of all the stupid ideas he's had, this one is probably the worst. What on earth are we going to find at his sister's house that will be of any use to us?

I should hate this plan. Normally I'd go mental without knowing what's going to happen next and I'd detest putting my own plans on hold. But something about being here with Shane in this moment makes me feel different. Excited, even.

"Will she be out all day tomorrow?" I ask.

Shane nods.

"Then I'll see you in the morning." I turn and head out without looking back. Because I've got to be in control of something, haven't I?