18/02/22
1:47am
"I want you to be happy for me when i'm with someone who isn't you",
Lies, lies I tell myself,
I miss you,
All the songs you wrote about me,
All the letters and poems you wrote me,
I miss them all,
I don't wish you well, no, although,
I forgive you, for all the lies you spoke, making me feel like you were my forever,
All the arguments and fights we had because of your lies, I forgive you,
I don't want you to be happy without me.
I want you to feel, no, I need you to "feel" the way I feel,
If I can't be happy without you, then you can't be either, let's be unhappy together.
I want to hurt you but I also want to love you,
I want to be the only one who can make you smile-
I want to control you, make you do whatever I desire,
I want to ruin you, destroy you so no one can ever love you, no one, but me.
I want you to love, adore and hate me.
I want to own you, all of you-
Your feelings and emotions, I want to own them all.
Let me rip your heart out, join it together with mine and feed it to us both,
I want to live inside of your skin,
Making it so you'd never be able to escape me, I want to smile while watching you beg for release, I need to hear you plead for another chance-
I want you to watch me give my body to someone else, someone undeserving of me.
Or I could tie you up giving you a mixture of pain and pleasure with no love.
And no matter how badly I treat you, you'll never want to leave, Your life should mean nothing to you without me in it.
This is your fault, you made me this way, now I want to use you till you're no longer useful, not even for yourself you'd be damaged, beyond repair.
It'll turn me on to see you become so useless and helpless without me, not being able to get better than this.
This- this-
This, is what you deserve, but i'm only hurt not Toxic, so you might never get it.
~💜Ronnie.
