i'm so into you

12

TW- NEEDLES AND ... YEAH DR*GS

—
he felt the itching feeling through his shirt again, the bandaid that covered them rubbing off slowly and sticking to his sweatshirt sleeves. minho tried to ignore the feeling as long as possible, but he ended up in the same position every time. he sits on the toilet seat with the band around his muscular bicep, his veins denting his skin as he flexes, reminding him what he's doing just now with the person he likes right outside the door.

he grabbed the lighter and spoon from under the sink along with the crushed up substance inside a small bag. he carefully placed the equipment on the counter, grabbing the small plastic bag and opening it. he then started tapping the powder gently onto the spoon that lied horizontally on the counter, furrowing his eyebrows in concentration.

just as he mounded the powder on top of the spoon, a small knock was heard at the bathroom door, making him jump slightly and shake the remaining powder out of the bag and on the counter. he cursed to himself as he felt the scars on his arm itch more with every second went by without the pill.

"hey min, are you okay?" jisung asked softly at the door worriedly. minhos anxiety spiked as he heard jisungs light voice outside the door.

"yeah. j-just give me a second," he stuttered as he wiped the powder off quickly with his hands and poured it off the spoon into the bag. he started shaking again at the idea of him getting caught like this, struggling to wrap the spoon up in the foil. he lastly ripped off the band around his bicep and threw it in knowing that his time was running out.

he stumbled out of the bathroom quickly, tripping on his feet slightly and sliding his sleeves back down. he saw jisungs shy smile meet him with a small giggle.

"hyung. you know that i already know, there's no reason to hide it from me," he assured coming closer to his body with bold eyes. minho felt the guilt and shame erupt from below his gut, his body still shaking. after staring into minhos scared eyes, jisung brought his hand to meet his shivering arm, wrapping his fingers to intertwine with him. minho felt like breaking down in that moment as the cold feeling continued to spread along his chest.

"jisung. i don't know what to do if i'm being completely honest with you," he muttered and choked a sob down as he spoke, feeling the edge again.

"i know hyung and let me know if it's getting unbearable because i know-"

"jisung it's okay, this withdrawal fucking sucks. i hate this shit god damn" he breathed out after wiping sweat on his forehead.

"i'm sorry sung jesus, going through withdrawal is ugly," he added catching his breath. he covered the side his face with his hand ashamed before jisung tapped on his hand softly.

"don't apologize for it. do you, i mean, will you, if i called or i don't know, somehow, would you go to rehad?" jisung asked shyly, trying not to upset the other. minho sat there thinking about it, the idea of going into the hospital completely under control by doctors. he didn't know if he liked the control or not, there were quite nice nurses around that came to evaluate him every once and a while, but the guilt he felt at the hospital was unacceptable to himself.

"i-i fucking hate how judgemental the nurses are there a-and they know my record so it will be very v-very bad for me if i go," he shivered a bit as he spoke. he knew he could potentially go to jail or prison for the amounts of drugs he used, did, and kinda sold. his parents saw him as a role model as well, and with a promise from last time, he dared to never fall back into his pill popping habits. although, cross-faded at a party thrown by college students with hyunjin, he was offered to do the infamous cocaine by a guy he recognized from a posee from last year. it turns out that the coke was spiked with something a bit stronger than he expected, but he felt so good that he didn't even recognize it. he never wanted that feeling of comfort and happiness to leave, so he decided, while still cross-faded, to buy another pill or two. he immediately started partying hard with everyone, feeling greater than ever as the adrenaline took over his body along with the coke.

he ended up passing out eventually, at about 6AM. he slept for the entire day afterwards, feeling like absolute crap as he woke up the next morning from the day after. he couldn't believe the weekend went by so fast as sunday morning came along. he found the pills on the counter of his kitchen, placing them in a small plastic bag to crush up later. he somewhat knew how to do heroin correctly but he would probably need to grab the correct needle and syringe.

the first time he did it on his own, it was pretty painful on his arms, but the pain subsided once he felt the overwhelming floaty feeling. but after that, he hadn't touched the pills in the bag for a while, due to school and not having time, so instead trying to smoke weed to prevent his symptoms with withdrawal.

i know your thinking, why wouldn't he just take the weed now? well if he was being honest, he doesn't have the money right now or the attention span to find and smoke weed. his itching feeling has been getting worse as he shook more from jisungs touch.

"honey, will you let me help you minho-ssi," jisung teased but also implied meaning. minho thought about it again, and he decided.

"yes." he mumbled leaning his head down in shame.

"minho, if you let me help you, do i have the control over your drugs?" he asked testing his hand on his shoulder now.

"c-can we negotiate on what to do with them?" he asked softly, rubbing his itching arm.

"of course, i know that it's costly." jisung said, smiling while rubbing his cheek. minho giggled at the feeling of his cheek being caressed, definitely feeling foolishly in love.

"hm. your staring minho, what are you thinking about hm?" jisung teased confidently while touching his jawline and then traveling back to his hands that rested behind him now.

—
he caressed his arm around his scars smoothly and softly, making sure to put the least amount of pressure, as they sit in minho's room watching food wars to calm him down. to jisung, it seemed to work as his shivering started getting quieter and his shaking became steady. he treaded his fingers along the side of his neck, his face turning to his, which he was on his lap. jisung pulled his hand away in response and snickered quietly while bringing his hands back to his bicep.

"you like my muscles ay?" minho suddenly flexed as he made the comment. jisung rolled his eyes and gave him a soft hit on his arm, keeping his hands to himself teasingly.

"ew," he said crossing his arms. but after about a minute of the show passed, minho begged for jisungs massage.

"jisung~ don't stop massaging me!" he whined turning his face with a lip pout. in a moment like this, he forgot about the feeling that he originally craved. jisung smiled and started rubbing his arms again, giving attention to his biceps expectedly.

—
Had to wait this chapter out after moonbins passing so i'm sorry for the wait. may he rest in peace 🫶🏻💓
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Weekend is over w minsung in this chapter but hey we still have a science project to finish, and i'm sorry if timelines get messy or if people get confusing. lowkey, i write this while 🍃 as a b. and my thoughts pour out but never make sense. soo i need to proofread sober against my will (eventually) and then adjust things.