Infatuated Flowers

Chap 2 - Starting Over

Quinn

Well, fuck, that's embarrassing. Like how are you gonna give someone your answer and then get it wrong? I hope Doux isn't mad, that would be extra embarrassing. tranny-gives-hottie-wrong-answer-then-gets-beat-up would be the next headline on the school's Instagram page.

Anyways, Doux might not be as bad as I thought. He asked me about plants so, of course, I went into detail. I love plants and I thought he did too 'cause he was asking about it, but no, bamboo from Ikea is not the best answer. Doux didn't seem that bad though. his voice throws me off so much. It's so nice like after you drink water when you have a dry throat, it's soothing. He didn't seem to be asking sarcastically either, it seemed like a genuine question, but c'mon it's Doux Moreau we're talking about, and who knows if he ever changed from his 6th-grade views. Maybe he's just been trying to make a mockery of a trans person for 5 years. I hate that he is so nice to your face.

As the teacher continued talking, the office aide came in with our new schedules. The teacher started passing them out and luckily there weren't too many. As he came nearer I waited patiently while Doux was fidgeting with everything around him. When Mr. Ted finally handed ours to us, we both looked at them and examined them.

"Oh most of mine stayed the same, what about yours?" Doux asked. To my terror, most of mine stayed the same too. Only 1 different class and 1 class was taken off.

"Same," I slid mine over for him to look at and he did the same. We still had 4 of the same classes and I was wondering if I was looking at the wrong schedule because it looked exactly like my schedule. We have the same schedule.

"Oh.. looks like we have 5 classes together now..." I looked over at him and he had this grin that I wanted to smack off. This was not a happy-go-lucky situation, this was a die-ina-ditch situation. But surprisingly I wasn't as disappointed as I should've been, ugh, what is he doing to me? I have this terrible thing where I can't be mean to someone's face if they are being nice to me. I took treating others how you want to be treated too far. I would actually like it if he was a douchebag to my face because that would give me the capability of doing so too. It reminds me of my mom. After all the shitty things she has done, when she acts nice it's like you have to instantly forgive her. This is also how I felt toward my old friend. After being such a bitch to me I always had to forgive her because she acted as if nothing happen. I'm not the type of person to bring stuff up so I usually just overthink and let it build up till I can't take it anymore. With this old friend, I just ignored her because that really was the only possibility to get her out of my life. It worked for a little bit but she acted like I wasn't ignoring her. She came to me and said 'Are you done with your hating me phase' and I snapped. I was so sick and tired of her pretending like she did nothing, making herself the victim and telling people I was so terrible and sure I hung out with you all the time, and sure I acted like a 'lost fucking puppy' but really what the fuck is wrong with you. And I will fully admit that I was not always in the right but to think she had the audacity to act like my feelings meant nothing made me feel worthless.

After algebra, I walked towards the snack shack, and Doux felt the need to follow me.

"Quinn! Where're you goin'?"

"The snack shack." Was it not obvious?

"Oh, can I come with?" Was he not already?

"Sure." How do you get someone to get a hint after 6 years of pushing them away? Then I thought, 'This is the perfect opportunity to get him his present!' so I stopped in my tracks to let him catch up.

Now I have to start a conversation.

"Sorry if I seem rude, I don't have a lot of social skills," I started apologizing so it seemed like I was being friendly.