Couldn't get there

Chapter 2: this is how it ends

The alarm goes off all over  just hell hole, time to get up, I have just five minutes to get out of bed and dress for the day, which in other words means, get the fuck up and go get some food before they decide your slacking and wip you.

I hit my fingers again, and again, the cuts on them never get old, just staying the same. I want to ask why they need all this metal, but i don't, i know I can't, the last time someone did that, a simple
"Why the hell do you guys need so much of this shit anyways?". It was fine or so we thought, no one answered the question but the next day she didn't come back. I learned my lesson then and for the last time.

You know it's funny because, every morning right before I get up, i think i hear something, someone calling out to me, telling me to take a breath get through the day, cause I'm gonna be out of here soon. No one ever comes... I wish they would, I'm tired of being this sad depressed messed up girl, i used to be happy. I had a life, people who cared about me and that was all I needed.
I know what I need is to get out of this hell hole, to escape but to do it right, to make sure they think I'm still here.

These thoughts circle my head all day, and it's only as it becomes night that I think I found it, i found the way to get out of here.
As I'm sitting in my room i think it through, and the possibility that means it might not work, but for some reason I feel as though i have to.

I think if I wanna get out of here i have to die.

I have to wait for the right day. Which means i have to wait for the medical supply to come, and I don't know when that will happen which means i have to watch and so the regular time at which it comes and when it goes.
For my plan to work i need the xrologm, here when they kill someone they give them zgorolm, however if I want to die and come back from the   dead i need xrologm, it contracts the effects of zgorolm. That mean that if i take first xrologm and then zgorolm, by the time I'm in the body bag outside I will be back, well, not all the way I'll be sleeping, but still awake. It's a complicated situation. But i know i can make it.

As of today I begin to look for the truck, however i know I'm gonna have some difficulties getting what i need, which means i will have to hurt someone. In which i have to train, and do it alot, despite the fact that i have no idea how to do it, but, i think i have seen enough workout shit on tv if i can remember any of it. I just have to wait for my cellmate to fall asleep, it shouldn't take to long cause by the time we're allowed to go from the mining we're all half dead inside.
You know it's funny, cause like if you've ever seen any show that has miners in it you see they work like it was a normal job, get to go home and shit, but here they lock us up and put us here to slowly die, giving us showers once a week. Horrid shower rooms, that smell like death and filth. Because there are only a few of us girls, so they make us take showers after the boys, which is gross, they stink.

I look at the walls, empty bear walls full of nothing but holes and cracks, it's bullshit but i don't really care anymore. I can't help but look at my cellmate,a good kind sweet boy, about fourteen, just three years younger then me, yet he doesn't deserve this, everytime i look at him i see them attacking us, the outer colonies, we were at peace, i can't help but wonder why? Why attack us, for what purpose, to start a war? Not to mention the fact the we for some reason need a whole lot of this metal that doesn't look like metal, but some other substance. I can't quite describe it, a kind of blue black that keep shining. Not that i would ask yet, i have to save that so that when I get the xrologm i can take it ask questions, the poison me, i die and get outta here.
I just thought, where will i go, once I'm out, if i go back home my family's at risk, i can't let that happen. Maybe I'll go to the outer colonies, start over, become someone else, see if i can find out why they are attacking us, try to stop it. Who the hell am i kiding som have no plans of being a hero, for anyone, i just wanna be alone the rest of my life

I see his breath begin to slow, like one pattern, telling me he's sleeping, i wait another few minutes to make sure he is still sleeping. Then i begin. I train hard, everyday for at least one hour, i can feel it paying of, i know I'm getting stronger, and so maybe I don't know how to fight, but at least soon I'll be strong enough to know ck some ass. I vant help but feel happy, there's a smile on my face that i haven't seen you in a while, it can only mean one thing, and I'm not sure if it's good or not. Hope, I'm beginning to hope again.

It's been two weeks, I've gotten stronger, they've gotten smarter.
Three days ago they realized that someone was watching them, though they don't know it was me, they do know that it was someone from my sector, 1A, i guess i should've been more careful.