Sins of the Father, Sins of the Son

A Sign for Hope

We weren't able to expel the demon completely, but it had been severely weakened, to the point where Leigh regained full control of her own body and mind. Her tear-soaked hugs along with her mother's everlasting gratitude made everything worth it. I was elated that we were able to help this family recapture some form of normality.

It was clear to me we were making headway when the calligraphy that burnt its way across Leigh's legs began to disappear, when Murmur's cries alternated from mere annoyance to pain and then to suffering. Leigh was once again able to bathe herself, to eat some food and drink some water, and thankfully apply some chap stick! The poor girl's lips looked like shredded wrapping paper.

As we took our leave I stopped by her room to bid her farewell, she was so immersed in a fantasy novel she was unaware of my presence. I smiled and left it that way. She had earned some well-deserved downtime and the last thing I wanted was disturb her.

Father Monaghan and I promised to return in a week to baptize Leigh and pray with her and help her establish a relationship with Jesus Christ, an important criterion in warding off demonic spirits. He guessed that it would take us another three to four visits to expel it completely. It was cornered, it was weak, but it wasn't gone ... yet.

On the car-ride home I broke down and confessed everything to Father Monaghan: my guilt over my mother's death, the animosity toward my father and his new family, the incestuous molestation I had endured at the hands of Simeon, my refusal to tell anyone out of shame, and the guilt I felt for Simeon's murder victim. It gushed out of me like a broken water dam.

I told him that I didn't deserve to be a priest, that I didn't deserve to serve God, and that I didn't deserve Paradise. He disagreed and stated that all of God's children are imperfect in His eyes. He said that I must ask for forgiveness, for Jesus forgives anyone who asks for it sincerely. He said that Jesus' love knows no boundaries and that it's eternal and unyielding. He said that if I didn't deserve to wear the cloth neither did numerous priests

and deacons and bishops and archbishops and cardinals and even popes, for they had all sinned and that no sin can be compared to the sins of others.

After he dropped me off at home I found myself in my upstairs bedroom, my elbows planted firmly into the mattress, tears rolling down my cheeks. I confessed everything to Jesus ... everything. I begged for forgiveness and guidance and for Him to fill me with his love and His light and His infinite wisdom. I promised Him that I would reconnect with my father and my grandparents and all of those I had shunned to escape from who I was. I promised him I would strive to be the best Christian I could possibly be.

After what seemed like hours of praying and bawling and atoning I stood up, my knees and arms aching from the prolonged kneeling position and my head spinning from the day's experiences. I wiped my runny nose and blotchy eyes with the sleeve of my sweatshirt and walked over to the window. I saw a crane perched on the railing leading up the walk to my front door. Its wings were fully spread and its neck was craned upward and its beautiful orange eyes were fixed on me. The sight took my breath away. Then I noticed something else, a sight that melted my heart and made my faith even stronger. A Blue Jay was sitting right next to it with its head cocked upward, staring at me as well. Blue Jays were my mother's favorite bird.