Shit Yourself and Die The Musical (A Dialtown Fanfiction from Hell)

Chapter Two: And So They Asked Norm About Jesus

Oliver and Randy ran into the woods, almost returning to their primal nature as they were snarling and growling.

 They were so caught up in their primal running that instead of stopping in front of Norm's door to knock, they instead ran into it and collapsed to the floor.

 "Jesus Christ, can I just not have one day." Norm said, opening the door.

 "OLD FUCK, TELL US ABOUT THAT GUY." Oliver snarled.

 "Huh..."

 "Sorry, the beast took over." Oliver stood up, almost crying because his dark evil side came out before going back to normal. "Anyways talk about Jesus and how we can contact him because Phonegingi died."

 "Oh well Jesus-" Norm began talking about the wonders of Christ, I'm not gonna write it out because I don't know enough about Jesus or the bible really but just know this interaction happened.

 "Alright that's great." Randy said, a little bit terrified of Norm. "Also there is a bomb that is gonna go off in four days that will wipe out the entire town if we do not get Phonegingi back, because they are the only one who can stop it. Sorry."

 Norm proceeded to burst into tears on the spot. Everybody was displeased with this.

 "So can you help us?" Oliver gently patted his shoulder, hoping he would stop stress sobbing.

 "I mean yeah, I don't exactly have'a choice seeing how the town will fuckin' explode." Norm sniffled, moving Oliver hand off him. "Also, don't touch me."

 "Sorry... I don't know how to actually comfort people so I just touch their shoulders." Olive whimpered pitifully.

 "You disgust me." Norm sneered, punching Oliver as hard as he could. He almost killed the poor fucker.

 "Please do not make me have two corpses on my sweaty sweaty hands." Randy wailed, watching Oliver get decked.

 "Alright whatever, let's go console the mayor as she has the holy cross locked away in the Jesus Safe." Norm said, getting on a horse. "Let's go."

 The boys plus Phonegingi's corpse got on the horse and the rode off to Mayor Mingus's Office, hoping to unlock the very first holy cross that she was keeping away in a safe.