Shit Yourself and Die The Musical (A Dialtown Fanfiction from Hell)

Chapter one: World's Worse Field Trip and Date

  It was so hot and humid outside, the worst fucking weather to go out and do things, but unluckily things were happening outside.

 "Guys I promise you this is worth it." Phonegingi said, strutting their sexy ass into the funfair without paying, of course. "Just trust me guys, trust me."

"I dunno man, I don't think doing a kickflip off a roller coaster is kinda... Dumbass thoughts." Oliver bitterly responded, carrying his own personal skateboard which he used to get bitches.

 "And why am I  here?" Randy chimed in with a panicked tone.

 "Randy shut up, you're here because if I get caught breaking in here to do this I can just blame you for the crime." Phonegingi glared at his sweaty pal.

":("

"Don't do that."

 The group finally made it to the coolest roller coaster of all time, the One Two Buckle My Shoe Three Four There Goes The Whore. Phonegingi took Oliver's skateboard and planted their wet ass in the Roller coaster cart. "Alright man, good luck." Oliver said, taking out his dinky camera to record this disaster.

 "Thanks, Peter." Phonegingi smiled at Oliver, some how, before being taken away by the roller coaster cart.

 "My name's Oliver, I've known you for a year how did you fuck this up so bad?"

 Incorrect names aside, Phonegingi made it to the peak of the coaster, and before the cart shot down he got out. He began doing the sickest grind down the roller coaster tracks.

 "No way he might actually pull off the coolest skate board trick ever." Randy said in awe. Right after he spoke, Phonegingi fell off and splatted on the ground, dying instantly from the impact.

 "OH SWEET JESUS." Oliver and Randy screamed in unison, running over to the dead green fucker's corpse. "What do we DO?!" Randy looked over at Olive man, almost peeing out of terror.

 "Let's bring them back from the dead." Oliver said confidently.

 "Whar-"

 "Yeah let's like, bring them back... They can't stay dead."

 "I mean, they could stay dead. Maybe for the better."

 "Nah man... If they stay dead, then this town will explode."

 "What? Why would that happen?"

 "Okay so like there is a bomb that is gonna go off in like four days and only Phonegingi knows how to stop it, the bomb is powerful enough to wipe out the whole of Dialtown."

"SINCE WHEN WAS THIS GOING ON?!"

 "The mayor was bored one day and decided to make the town more exciting."

 "You know what fair, it's been boring around here.. But how on earth are we gonna get this thing back."

 "Uhh, maybe like... Jesus can bring them back. But I dunno how we would contact good 'ol JC."

 "..Doesn't Norm know a lot about Jesus?"

 "RANDY, MY PITIFUL HERO.. YOU'RE RIGHT- LET'S ASK HIM ABOUT THAT." Oliver gave Randy a big wet kiss before picking up Phonegingi's lifeless body, running towards Norm's lonely but not as violent shack in the woods.