An Interference of Portraits

Confessions

Our little party turned to talking in smaller groups and Teddy returned to playing with his digger and the gravel.

Draco said, 'I didn't realise, about the crowds, I'm sorry. And I was pushing the party too.'

'Maybe it's a good thing. Like Pansy says, maybe I need to face my fears and realise they're not actually as bad as I'm imagining. That's the problem with anxiety, isn't it? It can be so crippling and crushing that it stops you from doing anything. Little steps, Draco. I'm taking little steps. Well, this is huge for me. But it's good too. I can see it's not threatening. And we've laughed, it's fun having you all here. I need to recognise that.'

'But you've been going into the Ministry and doing all those Press things,' said Hermione.

'Yeah. I'm just really good at pretending but it's bloody uncomfortable and exhausting and I really have to focus on my breathing. I completely lost all words the other day after someone asked me about going into the Forest to face Voldemort alone. I just had to leave the stage. I managed to get home before the panic really kicked in. Willow and Ziggy help; unwitting therapy cats. I've told Kingsley I don't want to do anymore Press Releases like that. I'll do a one-to-one if necessary but not the big room full of all these journalists firing questions at me. It feels too aggressive, like I'm under attack again.'

'Harry, you should see someone,' Ron said. 'It helps.' He took Hermione's hand and gave it a squeeze and I watched them look at each other fondly.

'How are you going to cope with the Gala?' said Hermione, her voice full of concern.

I shrugged. 'I'm going with Luna,' I nodded towards my lovely friend who was listening in. 'You really help. You guessed a long time ago that I was struggling and why.'

'I'm Harry's go-to,' Luna chipped in cheerfully, 'for when neither of us have dates. Harry always makes me feel like an angel when I go to these functions with him so I feel less unusual. Harry bought me my dress this time so it means that I'll be wearing the right outfit...'

Ron and Hermione smiled.

I did too. 'That's because you are an angel and you deserve the dress. And it's still unique and you. Otherwise you wouldn't be my lovely Luna Lovegood.'

'It's very beautiful,' she said distractedly.

'Are you two dating?' asked Lavender.

'Oh no,' said Luna. 'We're just friends.'

'I got an invitation too but I don't know...' Lavender said.

'You must come, Lavender,' insisted Luna. 'You deserve to dress up and feel good about yourself and dance and laugh with your friends.'

'I would be on my own.'

'You and me both,' said Draco.

'What about Astoria?' said Pansy.

I felt Draco's back stiffen beside me in that way it did when anyone mentioned her.

'Firstly, my darling-betrothed is only seventeen and has not been invited to the function due to her age, what with it being an over-18s only. Secondly, I have no desire to be out and about with a seventeen-year-old on a date. It feels very wrong to me. Thirdly, I have not asked Astoria because... well... I don't particularly like her. I can only hope she'll grow on me, figuratively speaking. I believe I am saved from the social indecorum of attending an official function without her because her family are currently abroad.'

'You only sound a little bitter about it, darling,' Pansy said.

'Only a little? It must be all the practice I'm getting at pretending everything about this arranged marriage is fine.'