Sorry, I'm an Anti-romantic • Choi Yeonjun

romance

Romance. What is romance?

Is it a strong feeling?

A mutual understanding?

A physical attraction?

Or an irresistible desire?

Throughout generations, the written in stone, textbook definition of romance had changed dramatically, but one thing remained eternal: Respect, Trust and Loyalty for your partner.

Whatever romance could be is just a further development built on these.

Yet, romance is considered a miracle. An opportunity. It can happen with anyone, anywhere, at any time, but no matter how much people praise the significance and effectiveness of romance on mankind, it's always the same for me: A waste of time.

Although my opinion had not always been as such, I realised romance was nothing but a series of fake promises, fights, overly dramatic gestures and affection which had been mistaken for love after a few strict experiences. Rejected or played by others and not given a damn for my feelings. These were just events that had strengthened my decision, but the actual trigger point was elsewhere.

My parents.

To the world, they are a happy, healthy couple. But as it goes, love must not truly exist to be together. They are bound due to a marriage vow- a promise for lifetime- which was once taken with love.

But love alone isn't enough.

They fight. A lot. Sometimes, it gets so bad, they don't talk to each other for straight weeks and I get stuck juggling up and down between them. It's mentally tiring and physically stressful. Yet, after a while they cool down, go back to being their normal selves and make me a damn fool out of this for worrying so much.

Despite all this, I had a ton of crushes throughout elementary and high school, but had finally given up after being played by this one boy, who I believed was trustworthy.

He asked me out and we had our first kiss. My first kiss. It was a big moment for me, that maybe I would find something right. At least this time.

But, I was wrong. He had inconsiderately broken up with me on the very next day, cooking up useless excuses. This foolish act of his made me look extremely stupid for getting excited at the slightest. He had gotten my hopes up high only to push me off from there.

All these had contributed to the fact that I despised the basic understanding of romance and its sweet aesthetics of expressing one's love. They absolutely disgust me.

So, I started believing, "fuck romance, fuck love, I don't need such a waste of time."

• • •

Lost in thought, she looked out the window, humming her favourite song. She was rocking back on her chair, waiting for the professor to start the class. Yet, she hadn't noticed him ask for everybody's attention as a new kid walked in.

"Seoyul," the professor called, but she was still in her own world. "Han Seoyul," he repeated louder.

"Sir?" She shot her head towards him, stumbling on the chair but luckily hadn't lost any balance, "Sorry sir, I... I didn't hear you."

"Well, I figured." He replied with an upset tone, the students whispering among themselves, "It's good you're being honest but this isn't acceptable. Hope it won't be repeated again."